Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the everywhere, the competition really matter for everyone because it is one of the most important and good resources for build our lowest area suc as, confidence, hesitation to face anyone, and decreased our fear. In this essay, i will discuss both views and my point of view will deinately support this statment.

According to some people think that, we ahould try to co-operate more other than participants avoid each other because a lot of students are suffering many difficulties during their studies journey like that, manage fees, and do not interest in manu subjects

A lot of people are facing problems in their daliy lifesn low income , poor transportaion and, a lot of work in their occupations.

From some people think that, competition is originaly significant in our daliy lives, however, it will support in complex situation in future.

Due to this activity, many students have ready for highest bad condition in daliy lifes. In many countries, they a lot focus on competition at school and at work and pupils places, nevertheless their students can face anyone in everyears, Australia, Canada, and United Kingdom.

From my everyday experience and observations, people and students are attempting any competition instead at school and work

for example, games, social media, and also TV shows they can eaily survy in any circumsstances issue.

In my country, a lot of childern are geting experience since, beause this is a good sources of best experience in their daliy lives.

In conclusion, tis essay discussed both side thoughts.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address both views and states a position, as seen in the opening statement: "in this essay, i will discuss both views and my point of view will deinately support this statment." However, the development of ideas is severely limited and difficult to follow. While the prompt asks for a discussion on competition versus cooperation, the student's body paragraphs wander through disconnected points about fees, low income, and poor transportation without effectively linking them back to the core prompt. Some ideas are repetitive or under-developed, particularly in the third and fourth paragraphs. Consequently, the response fulfills the basic requirements of addressing the task conceptually, but lacks the necessary depth, clarity, and logical extension required for higher bands. This performance aligns closely with the Band 5 descriptor where ideas are limited and under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The organisational structure of the essay is weak. Although the response is broken into multiple paragraphs, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by fragmented sentences and abrupt shifts in topics. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as the transitional phrase "From some people think that," which impedes the flow of ideas. Paragraphing is present, but individual paragraphs lack a clear internal structure or unifying topic sentence, making it hard for the reader to follow the argument. Referencing is also occasionally unclear. These structural issues and mechanical use of cohesion prevent the essay from achieving a higher score, placing it firmly at Band 4, where information and ideas are not coherently arranged.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The student demonstrates a very basic and limited vocabulary. Throughout the text, there are numerous inappropriate word choices and collocations, such as "build our lowest area" instead of building confidence or reducing weaknesses, and "highest bad condition" instead of difficult circumstances. Spelling errors are frequent and pervasive, including words like "deinately", "ahould", "daliy lifesn", "transportaion", "originaly", and "childern". While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a faint shadow of the intended meaning, the sheer frequency of lexical errors and lack of precision cause noticeable difficulty and strain for the reader, which corresponds directly to the Band 4 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying heavily on basic sentence structures that are frequently marred by severe structural errors. The response contains pervasive grammatical mistakes, including missing prepositions, incorrect verb forms, and distorted syntax, such as "In the everywhere, the competition really matter for everyone" and "a lot of childern are geting experience since, beause this is a good sources of best experience". Punctuation and capitalization are also handled poorly throughout. Because errors are frequent, distort meaning in places, and severely restrict the variety of error-free sentences, the grammar aligns with the Band 4 criteria.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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