Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Few individuals think that comparision at work, at school and in now a days life is a nice thing. Other trust that we should try to cooperate more , rather than competing against each other.In the modern world, rapid population growth and highly crowded cities cause residence shortages, and people should decide what type of residence would be more suitable to alleviate this problem. Some people believe that tall apartment blocks would be the best way to provide enough homes in large cities. Although tall apartments can cause inconvenience and concern, I agree that it will remain the best option for several reasons.

On the other hand, the some paople is very high competition at work in bussiness. but many people live in crowded city and high class bussiness is working in daily life. so , I think many people is very bad react in other bussiness . they have many emolymes is working in bussiness work . but many have very diffcuilt condition to working the bvussiness in enough time . so, I think some bussiness man is bulid the house appartment so employes live in enogh houses.but many people is working in crowded cities . small cities have not many opportunies is working for low level people. so people should decide types of resisdence would be more suitable blocks or appartment .

On the other hand, the many student is studying in crowded cities but small city have no many opportunies for education.so , I think goverment have many opportunies in many cities but student have easily study in my country. but they have many beautiful appartment or block for student live in crowded city and bult the hostel .many tyoes of education department in manyncities such as college, high level school, university, bahuclor, and many lower level school.

In my opinion, many student have many opportunties in many cities but student have easily learn education .so, i think in the modren world, rapid population growth and hightly crowded cities cause resisdence shortages and people should decide types of resistancewould be more suitable to alleviate this problem.

In conclusions, Although tall apartment can cause inconvenience and concern,i agree that it will remain the best option for several reasons.so, I think some bussiness worker or student is not travel for other cities . so goverments have many opportunties in many cities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response demonstrates a significant issue with topic comprehension. Although the prompt requires discussing the views on competition versus cooperation and giving a personal opinion, the student's text abruptly veers into talking about residence shortages and tall apartment blocks in crowded cities, which belongs to a completely different housing prompt. The original prompt about competition and cooperation is only touched upon vaguely in the opening and closing sentences, while the body paragraphs heavily drift off-topic into urban housing, student accommodation, and city opportunities. Consequently, the ideas regarding the core task are severely underdeveloped and lack clear extension or relevant support. The position is unclear due to this severe topic confusion. Therefore, this falls under the Band 4 descriptor where the response addresses the task only minimally or tangentially due to the pervasive drift into housing issues.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical flow and progression are heavily disrupted by the off-topic content regarding housing. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively, such as the excessive and incorrect usage of connectors like 'On the other hand' to introduce unrelated points about business and education. Referencing is frequently unclear, with pronouns like 'they' and 'it' lacking clear antecedents. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal unity of the paragraphs fails because ideas jump erratically between competition, housing shortages, student life, and government opportunities without a smooth progression. This pattern corresponds closely to Band 4, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently, making it difficult for the reader to follow a logical line of argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic, highly repetitive, and often unnatural. The student makes frequent word choice and collocation errors, such as 'comparision at work', 'now a days life', 'bussiness man is bulid the house appartment', and 'low level people'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary result in non-standard phrases that sometimes impede communication, for example, 'very bad react in other bussiness' and 'hightly crowded cities cause resisdence shortages'. Spelling and word formation mistakes are prevalent throughout the text. These limitations restrict the vocabulary to a basic and repetitive level, aligning with the criteria for Band 4, where errors strain the reader and vocabulary is severely restricted.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is very limited, relying heavily on simple sentences or awkward, faulty attempts at complex structures. There are persistent, highly frequent errors in basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'many emolymes is working' and 'many student is studying', incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Punctuation is also poorly handled, with irregular spacing around commas and periods. These frequent grammatical errors often distort meaning and cause significant difficulty for the reader. This performance reflects the Band 4 descriptors, where errors are frequent, structures are very limited, and the control of basic grammar is weak.

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