Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays, individuals compete with others, everthing comare with eachothers. Competition has became more impoetant in both professinal and daily life. While people think that competting with others are encurage to achive more and more things. Thia eassy dicscuss both views and provide some examples and also give opinion.
On the one hand, competition is a good way to encurage people to do more hard work and achive every goals in their life. Professionally colleagues do all work and compete with other staff for promotions, salaries and internatinal meetings. This way people develop a new skills and become a more prodective. Competition gives more energy to did it any chalanges. Similarly, in schools students face huge competitions with other classfellows. For instance, in a exams students work hard and got a good scores in exam. Also i is benefical for universty.
On the other hand, In the groups people discuss their ideas, opininon and knowledge to solve the problems and windup work eassly Competitions gives more supported and produtive envirnment.
In my opinion sometimes competitions may be stressfull and gives us dangerous results. In the some palces like class and work place may be usefull instance competition in daily life not fair. In some causes people were jelous with others. For example, in my personal life, when i was a student i was a good in studies so so many teachers appridshate me and give some valueable advices. Thats way some class fellows were jelous with me.
In conclusion, sometimes competition good for people and sometimes it is worest. However, competition give more coopration and teamwork. I imagine a balance between the two or more is the most benefically approch.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the views on competition and cooperation, and attempts to provide a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times unclear. For instance, the transition into the benefits of competition mentions colleagues competing for promotions and international meetings, but these points are underdeveloped and contain repetitive phrasing like "competing with other staff". The conclusion introduces a somewhat confused summary stating that competition gives "more coopration and teamwork." While a clear position is attempted ("In my opinion sometimes competitions may be stressfull"), the arguments lack sufficient depth and extension to reach higher bands. Overall, it satisfies the basic requirements of Task 2 with a partial exploration of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, showing an attempt at a standard structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, overall progression is hindered by poor logical sequencing and abrupt transitions. Cohesive devices are frequently inaccurate or misused, such as "On the other hand, In the groups people..." and "In some causes people were jelous with others." Paragraphing is also erratic, with the third body paragraph consisting of a single, fragmented sentence ("Competitions gives more supported and produtive envirnment."). Referencing and substitution are frequently faulty, making the flow disjointed and requiring the reader to work hard to follow the writer's line of thought.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors that impede communication at times. Examples of noticeable errors include "everthing comare with eachothers", "impoetant", "encurage", "achive", "prodective", "appridshate", and "worest". The student attempts to use some less common vocabulary, such as "professionally colleagues" and "valuable advices", but these demonstrate poor control over collocation and word formation (e.g., "valuable advice" is uncountable, and "jealous with" should be "jealous of"). The lexical range is minimally adequate to convey simple ideas, but frequent inaccuracies place it firmly in the lower band categories.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying heavily on simple sentence structures with frequent attempts at complex sentences that are almost entirely faulty. There are persistent, major errors in basic grammar, tense usage, and agreement, such as "Competition has became more impoetant", "people think that competting with others are encurage", and "when i was a student i was a good in studies so so many teachers appridshate me". Punctuation is also problematic, with missing commas, run-on structures, and incorrect capitalization. The majority of sentences contain noticeable errors that frequently cause difficulty for the reader and obscure the intended meaning.
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