Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
There is an ongoing controversy about the benefits of competition and collaboration between people. Some argue that competition at work, educational institutions and in daily life bring more advantages, while other contend that cooperation between individuals associate with more benefits. I believe that assisting each others will bring by far more advantages to people than competition.
On the one hand, those who support that cometition could provid more financial benefit. Companies reward their employees for their ideas that can enhance their position in domestic and international market. For example, if employees in BMW who provide the company with certain modification in cars to make it consume less fuel, customers will purchase their cars more than Marcedes, which eventually will enhance the annual profit of BMW. As a result, people who participated in breakthrough idea may gain financial benefit from their employer. However, this approach can increase strees on worker on the long terms and may make them suffer from mental issues which result in job dissatisfaction that can associated with negative outcome for companies.
On the other hand, those who believe that collaboration is by far bring more benefits for people argue that share task will enhance the overall performance. When employees assist each other during work, the difficult projects can finish faster with less mistake, which eventually put them under less stress and comapnies can reward them for thier good achievement. For instance, when two surgons who specialised in brain surgery worke on one patient, the incidence of error will reduce significantly as they guid each other during operation, which will mitigat the risk of death for patient. As a result, collaboration will enhance the overall performance of people.
In conclusion, although competition at work could associated with some benefits, the collaboration between people bring more benefits for emolyement in different workplaces.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on competition and cooperation and presenting a clear personal position in the introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas is uneven across the body paragraphs. While the second paragraph presents a relevant example regarding BMW and Mercedes, the explanation of how competition creates financial benefits is somewhat superficial. Similarly, the third paragraph attempts to support cooperation using a medical example involving surgeons, but the ideas remain partially under-developed. To reach a higher level, the arguments would need more extension, depth, and fully realised supporting details throughout all body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and each body paragraph opens with a distinct logical signal such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. Information and ideas are generally sequenced in a way that makes the progression easy to follow. However, cohesion at the sentence level is sometimes mechanical or faulty. For instance, referencing and transitional links like 'as a result' are overused or applied where the logical connection is slightly strained. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different perspectives, but smoother transitions and more flexible use of cohesive devices would elevate the organisational quality.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'ongoing controversy', 'breakthrough idea', and 'annual profit'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and word-form errors that reflect a limited level of precision. Examples include 'cometition' (spelling), 'associate with' instead of 'are associated with', 'share task' instead of 'shared tasks', 'surgons' (spelling), 'mitigat' (spelling), and 'emolyement'. These errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation do not severely impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score because control over less common vocabulary is inconsistent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The essay employs a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting complex clauses through conditional and relative structures such as 'Companies reward their employees for their ideas that can enhance their position...' and 'When employees assist each other...'. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples of structural and agreement errors include 'bring more advantages' (subject-verb agreement with 'competition'), 'assisting each others', 'streess on worker on the long terms', 'difficult projects can finish faster' (passive voice needed), and 'worke on one patient'. While these errors rarely impede overall communication, the presence of frequent mistakes in basic grammatical patterns prevents the text from reaching a higher level of accuracy.
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