Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In today's world, some people believe that concurrence between the colleges at work, students at school and also in the every day life is the effective thing. While other see that they should try to work in groups in spite of concurring each other. I am of the view that people should try to cooperate more,rather then competing against each other.
On the one hand , people who concurre and compet thier college at work or shcool and in daily life, will not be able to do thier work correctly and live thier life with peace of mind . A case in point is, my own experience, when i was a student at the unniversity there was a girl who concurat everyone in his group, and this compitition conduce her to lose all his friends and she left the unniversity. It seem to me that, a compitition against thier friend is a bad thing .
On the second hand, there are a category who believe that they should cooperate and work in groups in spite of compitition because working in groups help the majority of people to improve easly thier tasks.Take for exemple a bees work in groups and help each other to make honey.One bee can't make honey alone she needs all bees community to do thier job correctly. I personnaly think that cooparation is the most effective thing to improve all thier tasks to make a delicious honey.
In conclusin, taking everything into account, competition at work, at shcool and in daily life is not a good thing . However cooperation make a society more peacefull.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both competition and cooperation and stating a personal opinion, which places it within the target criteria. However, the treatment of the ideas is limited and under-developed. For instance, the introduction touches upon the topic, and the body paragraphs present relevant concepts, such as personal experience and an analogy about bees, but these ideas remain basic and lack extended elaboration. The writer's position is discernible in the introduction and conclusion, but the arguments supporting it are narrow and supported by simple examples, such as 'a girl who concurat everyone' or 'bees work in groups', rather than deeper analytical discussion. To move forward, the writer needs to explore their ideas more fully with richer explanations and clearer examples.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay presents a clear overall arrangement with a standard four-paragraph structure introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a basic attempt to sequence ideas logically, using transition signals such as 'On the one hand', 'On the second hand', and 'In conclusin'. However, cohesion is frequently mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, as seen in the phrase 'On the second hand' instead of the standard 'On the other hand'. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as pronouns that do not clearly point back to their antecedents. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct points, but the flow between sentences lacks smooth progression due to awkward phrasing and repetitive use of cohesive devices.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts less common terms, but this results in noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling, such as 'concurrence', 'colleges' instead of colleagues, 'concurat', and 'compitition'. These errors and spelling mistakes cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted lexical range. Words are often repeated across the text rather than varied with appropriate synonyms. To improve, the writer needs to expand their vocabulary repertoire and focus on precise word choices and correct spelling of common academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, these are often faulty, featuring frequent errors in verb forms, tenses, article usage, and prepositions. Examples include 'people who concurre and compet thier college', 'this compitition conduce her', and 'Take for exemple a bees work'. Punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas, are also present. These frequent errors in grammar and mechanics cause difficulty for the reader and indicate that basic sentence patterns are not yet fully mastered. A greater focus on sentence building, subject-verb agreement, and accurate verb tenses is required.
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