Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Some individuals think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Nowadays it is the best thing for students to competition in the every field. It is often argued that some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. While others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. This essay will discussed both perspective before explaining why I believe that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing.
On the one hand, many people believe that competition at work is the best thing for everyone. This is mainly because everyone will do work at competitive phase and also build their confidence level. Furthermore, competiton is a crucial thing in your life. Sometimes people will passionate about the things to do in the company.
On the other hand, other argues that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. They believe this due to everyperson has not ability to compete with each other. Some people have this thing to personal way and destroy our mental ability and sometimes harm to other person.
From my perspective, competition at work is a good thing they increase the confidence level and also build their intellectual skills.
Consequently, both arguements are valid however, I stronlgy believe that an invidual should also has a competitive rather than cooperative as it provides, more advantages for indviduals and society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
First, it is important to note that the response contains only 177 words, falling well short of the minimum 250-word requirement, with 74 words copied directly from the prompt being excluded from the count. Because of this, the task is addressed only minimally. The student manages to touch upon both views regarding competition and cooperation and attempts to provide a personal opinion, but the ideas remain heavily underdeveloped and repetitive. Sentences such as 'This is mainly because everyone will do work at competitive phase' lack clear extension and fail to support the arguments adequately. To improve for this criterion, the writer must write at least 250 words and fully elaborate on each main point with detailed explanations and relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text shows some basic organization by dividing the content into introductory, body, and concluding paragraphs, and employs simple cohesive devices like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore'. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and the paragraphing is somewhat erratic and abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in 'Some people have this thing to personal way', which disrupts the logical flow between sentences. Additionally, the over-reliance on repetitive phrases from the prompt hinders smooth transitions. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to ensure a clearer, more logical progression of ideas throughout the text and use a wider range of cohesive devices more accurately without repetition.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on words directly copied from the task prompt, such as 'competition', 'work', 'school', and 'cooperate'. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices that strain the reader, including phrases like 'to competition in the every field', 'competitive phase', and 'passionate about the things'. Word forms are also frequently misused, such as 'everyperson' and 'an invidual should also has a competitive'. These errors occasionally impede communication. To improve, the writer should expand their vocabulary range, practice correct word formation, and incorporate less common lexical items with greater precision regarding collocation and style.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentence structures that frequently contain severe errors. There are frequent mistakes in verb forms and tenses, subject-verb agreement, and missing articles, such as 'This essay will discussed both perspective', 'other argues that', and 'an invidual should also has a competitive rather than cooperative'. Punctuation and preposition use within grammatical patterns are also problematic. These frequent errors distort meaning and make the text difficult to read at times. To move up, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over basic grammatical structures, ensure correct verb agreements, and produce a higher proportion of error-free sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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