Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, most people believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against one another while others think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. This essay will discuss both views and present my opinion on the subject.

To begin with, why some people believe that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing is because competion really help most people to learn, study and focus on their daily life activities. For instance, doing competition in school, for example debate or quiz, it can help students to study hard and help them face the crowd and it can also help them have audience.

on the other hand, why others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other is because most people are finding it very hard to learn, study and to face the crowd that is the reason why most people believe that they should rather cooperate more than competing against one another.

In my opinion, however competition at work, at school and in daily life activities is very good and it really helps people to be more focus and it also helps students to listen more and understand what they are being taught in their classroom.But it might also require alot of time.

In conclusion, while some believe that they should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other, i believe competing is a good thing and it really helps and favor others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response sits at a low level because it addresses the task only minimally. The length requirement is not met, as the response contains only 180 words, falling significantly short of the 250-word minimum (with 76 words copied from the prompt excluded). While the writer attempts to discuss both views and give an opinion, the ideas are heavily repetitive, overly generalized, and under-developed. For example, the body paragraphs merely restate that competition helps people learn and focus without providing substantive arguments or specific examples. The conclusion touches upon both perspectives and states a personal preference, but the overall development remains inadequate and tangential due to the severe brevity of the text.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text shows some basic organisation with standard introductory and concluding paragraphs, but information and ideas are not arranged in a truly coherent progression. Paragraphing is attempted, but the body paragraphs are extremely short and structurally weak, functioning more like single-sentence expansions. Cohesive devices are basic and repetitive, such as 'To begin with', 'on the other hand', and 'In my opinion', which creates a mechanical feel. Furthermore, referencing is sometimes unclear, and the lack of substantive content prevents a smooth logical flow throughout the essay. To improve, the writer needs to group ideas into well-developed paragraphs with clearer logical transitions linking the arguments together.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, which constrains the quality of the response. Throughout the essay, phrases like 'competition at work, at school and in daily life', 'learn, study and focus', and 'cooperate more, rather than competing against each other' are copied directly and repeatedly from the prompt. There is little attempt to paraphrase or use a wider range of lexical items. While high-frequency words are generally spelled correctly, noticeable errors in word choice and phrasing occur, such as 'doing competition in school' instead of 'participating in competitions'. To reach a higher band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range and demonstrate the ability to use less common synonyms and collocations naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, relying heavily on repetitive sentence structures such as 'why some people believe that... is because...' which often lead to awkward grammatical patterns. While simple sentences are generally manageable, attempts at more complex structures are faulty and lead to frequent errors. For instance, capitalization and punctuation errors are present, such as starting a sentence with a lowercase letter ('on the other hand') and missing apostrophes or commas. Grammatical errors, whilst they rarely completely obscure the meaning, occur frequently enough to cause difficulty and show a lack of control over complex sentence forms. To improve, the writer needs to incorporate a greater variety of error-free complex sentences and refine basic grammatical accuracy.

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