Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is an undeniable fact that individuals compete against each other whether its at work, at school or on daily basis

It is undeniable that competition plays a paramount role in growth for individuals whether its at work ,at school or on daily basis of life, while some people believe that folks who competes are the only ones that gets to successfull life as they have no chances of being at comfort zone, whereas others argue that implementing it in normal life would create a mess with their heads leading to various health problems. This essay will discuss both views and present my opinion that competing is a lot more advantageous.

To begin with, there are several reasons why some people support the view that competitiveness is a benificial thing.The primary reason is that curiosity for contesting amongst eachother will lead to finding a capability of learning something new, at workplace ,in studies or skills needed to make a living. This is because its in the human blood, with the evolution we were always in need of better places, good food, building empires. For instance, the competing mindset mixing with curiosity of getting something better made humans explore the world and beyond. Therefore supporters of this perspective believe that challenges can either make or destroy human empires.

On the other hand, those who support that cooperation is more convenient argue that competitiveness is just nothing but a way of creating a feued amongst others. This is mainly because fighting againt loved ones or at any place for the sake of achieving something will only create chaos nothing else. As a result individualts finds themselves into health problems such as heart attack or brain stroke, upon misleading their brains to compete more and more day by day. For example, workers who are not getting promoted thinking they are not capable or because of politics, ruining their lives and making them believe they are nothing.

The inexorable discussion on this topic can keep on going; neverthelessobserving the finest nuance and keeping a deep relevance of the facts, I would like to espouse my notion that competetion is needed where it doesnt turn into flued or into conflicting nature, it should always result for the betterment of company,yourselves and for your loved ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on competition versus cooperation and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is uneven. While the introduction outlines both perspectives, some supporting points are under-developed or vague, such as the philosophical mention of human evolution and empires. The position is evident throughout, but the reasoning in certain body paragraphs becomes slightly repetitive or overly generalised, particularly when discussing health risks without clear elaboration. To move to a higher level, the ideas would need more fully extended support and concrete, real-world examples rather than broad claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, dividing the introduction, body arguments, and conclusion adequately. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with' and 'On the other hand' are used, but referencing within and between sentences is occasionally unclear, such as the dangling pronoun reference in the final paragraph. Progression from one idea to the next lacks complete smoothness, and some transitional phrases feel forced. To achieve a higher standard, the logical flow between sentences needs to be tighter, ensuring that referencing and substitution are managed seamlessly throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'paramount', 'inexorable', and 'espouse'. However, there are notable word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors that prevent a higher score, such as 'successfull', 'benificial', 'feued' (instead of feud), and 'individualts'. Some phrases are awkward or unnatural, such as 'mixing with curiosity' or 'conflicting nature'. These lexical slips do not completely impede communication, but they highlight a lack of precision in word formation and spelling. A wider, more accurately controlled range of vocabulary is required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures. However, there is a lack of control over grammatical structures, resulting in frequent errors in punctuation, articles, subject-verb agreement, and preposition usage within clauses. Examples include missing commas, run-on structures like 'The inexorable discussion on this topic can keep on going; neverthelessobserving...', and awkward phrasing such as 'folks who competes' and 'folks who gets to successfull life'. These errors require effort from the reader to parse meaning. To improve, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over complex sentence patterns and reduce basic grammatical inaccuracies.

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