Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The growing influence at school and in daily life has sparked various debates. This issue particularly significant because its impact affects individuals communities in multiple ways. In this essay, I will discuss the opinion aspects of competition at work and their implications for society.

On the one reason of competition the benefits students has a improve the exam marks improve the hard work night and morning because impro of competition marks is that promotes access to a wide range of opportunities. This is a evident from the fact, politics election day has happens in your competition tolerance problem solving-methods in the multiple ways. For example competition as a cricket competition has a impro the score and football player achieve the goals and other sports impro the achievement. But also some people are recommended competition but many people join a competition.

On the end reason, some people are recommended competing but also other not recommended competing. They are competition people improve the difficulty task achieve the people. For example, share the idea in study work and join the high level things. As a various studies on but also improve the competing tasks. Competing improve tasks create a stress and depression and solve the problems.

In may opinion, the improve the competition task has many benefits in life and competing improve the difficulty tasks and create stress and anxiety and other of solving the problems provide both significant advantages challenges, and its impact depends on how effectively it is managed for society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You make a limited attempt to discuss both competition and cooperation, and the sports examples suggest that competition can motivate people to improve. However, the task asks for a comparison of the two views, while the response focuses mainly on competition and does not clearly explain the benefits of cooperation. The paragraph beginning “On the end reason” mentions sharing ideas, but its point is difficult to identify and is not developed with a clear example. Your opinion is also unclear: the final sentence lists benefits and harms, then says the impact depends on management, without stating which approach you support. To strengthen the response, explain one benefit of each view, support each with a relevant example, and state a consistent position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a concluding paragraph, so there is an attempt to organise the discussion. Some signposting, such as “For example” and “In may opinion,” also indicates the intended function of sections. However, ideas are not arranged coherently within these paragraphs, and the reader often cannot follow the progression. For instance, the first body paragraph moves from exam marks to elections and then sports without clear links, while “On the end reason” does not clearly introduce the cooperation view. Several sentences repeat the idea of improving through competition rather than advancing the argument. Use a clear topic sentence for each view, develop one connected point at a time, and link the conclusion directly to your stated opinion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “competition,” “opportunities,” “problem solving,” “stress,” and “anxiety.” These words show awareness of the subject, but the range is basic and repetition is frequent, particularly of “improve,” “competition,” and “tasks.” Several word combinations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “the benefits students has a improve the exam marks” and “competition tolerance problem solving-methods,” which make it difficult to understand your intended meaning. Some expressions, including “recommended competing,” do not convey the likely meaning of supporting or favouring competition. Build a more precise set of topic phrases and check that each word fits its context; for example, use “encourage cooperation” and “achieve better results” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences and use linking clauses, as in “This issue particularly significant because its impact affects individuals communities in multiple ways.” However, sentence structures are very limited in control, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction sometimes distort meaning. Examples include “This issue particularly significant,” “the benefits students has,” and “politics election day has happens.” The final sentence also combines several ideas without a clear grammatical structure, making your position hard to follow. Work first on accurate simple sentences with a clear subject and verb, then connect them using controlled clauses. Check agreement and verb forms, and use full stops to separate ideas that cannot be expressed clearly in one sentence.

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