Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, competition is going to increase gradually everywhere such as in school or in working sectors. I think that rivalry has both significant advantages and drawbacks because it can harm the relation among students or colleagues. Some people believe that having competition in life is a good thing, while other think that people should cooperate others to achieve their goals.

On the one hand, I strongly agree with this statement that we should help others individuals in our work life to achieve their objectives. There is a various advantages to assist colleagues in completion their work, it lead to strengthen their relationship. In addition, in school life, we should encourage students to work as a team instead of rivalry. Because it can promotes the skills among the students such as leadership, communication and problem solving. I remembered that when I was in university, I prefer to study with my friends because by this activity it was very helpful for me to understand different topics.

On the other hand, there are some drawbacks of rivalry along advantages. Having competition in life can cause serious problems such as erode mutual relationship, stress and burnout among people. This is because when individuals are forced to compete against with others, they begin to consider their mates as obstacles. For instance, in offices having competition among employees can retard the growth of an organization, because everyone thinks about own promotion and do not share their ideas. Consequently, it can effect overall environment of the working place and replace the peaceful system with an anxious.

In conclusion, i am strongly agree with this we should assist other people to achieve their goals because it lead to internal satisfaction and it can also strong our bonds with the society. Because rivalry cause serious issues such as alter behavior and stress among individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear preference for cooperation, especially in the opening and conclusion. Relevant support includes the university study example and the explanation that workplace rivalry may discourage employees from sharing ideas. However, the discussion is uneven: cooperation receives several benefits, while the case for competition as a positive force is not really explained. The paragraph beginning “On the other hand” focuses mainly on rivalry’s drawbacks, so it does not fully present the view that competition can be beneficial. Develop that side with a specific advantage, such as motivating people to improve performance, then weigh it against cooperation to make your position more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion. “On the one hand,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument, and the workplace example follows the point about rivalry. Some connections are less clear or mechanical, however. The second body paragraph is introduced as discussing drawbacks, but its opening phrase, “along advantages,” makes the relationship confusing. The final “Because” sentence is also detached from the preceding conclusion, and the repeated focus on rivalry’s harms limits progression. Use clearer links between claims and explanations, and ensure each paragraph develops one distinct part of the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “rivalry,” “cooperate,” “leadership,” “communication,” “burnout” and “mutual relationship.” These choices show an attempt to discuss workplace and educational contexts beyond basic terms. However, inaccurate word forms and collocations sometimes make the meaning less natural, as in “assist colleagues in completion their work,” “retard the growth” and “replace the peaceful system with an anxious.” Some expressions are also repeated, particularly “competition” and “achieve their goals.” Aim for more precise, natural combinations and check whether a noun, verb or adjective is needed. For example, “complete their work” and “create an anxious atmosphere” would express the intended ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional explanation beginning “when individuals are forced to compete” and a reason introduced by “because.” This gives the response some structural variety, but errors in agreement, verb forms and sentence construction remain noticeable. Examples include “other think,” “There is a various advantages,” “it lead to strengthen” and “I am strongly agree.” The sentence beginning “Because it can promotes” is also not correctly formed, and the conclusion contains a sentence fragment beginning “Because rivalry.” Review subject–verb agreement, infinitive patterns and complete sentence structure. More accurate control of these patterns would make your argument easier to follow.

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