Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, few people believe that competing with others: colleagues, class fellows and friends is beneficial while others think that we should be more cooperative rather than being competitive. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.

To begin with, when students compete with each other at school, they ensure that they have learned everything well, consequently they achieve higher grades and so is the case with people working in corporate world because they get promoted, as a result they acquire handsome salary through propmotion and this leads to maintain a good lifestyle. Moreover, folks in routine life also compare themselves with others and try to do best in each field, therefore they can have everything in life if they work hard.

On the other side of the edge competition has plethora of disadvantages. For instance, in this contemporary era, while in a race with others some people become selfish and they do not help their fellows at work and even sometimes they try to betray each other for securing a good position which hinders the situation for other honest employes. Additionally, kids also do not help their class mates in solving a problem because they want to be the on the top so this will make them less empathical toward others. Furhtermore, if children will develop a habit of deceiving or not helping others in the childhood, hence they will grow as rude adults later.

In a nutshell, I would like to argue that a healthy competition is beneficial to some extent untill it becomes a personal trait for adults and it should be controlled from children's childhood. This therefore put a responsibility on parents that they should keep a check on their kids from the beginning and ensure that they are not becoming mean person.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You discuss both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: competition can be beneficial when healthy, but should be limited when it encourages selfishness. The examples about students’ grades, workplace promotion, and children refusing to help classmates are relevant. However, the two views are not developed equally: the benefits are mostly asserted, while the drawbacks receive more explanation. The claim that people can “have everything in life” through hard work is broad and needs a specific example or qualification. Your conclusion also shifts toward parents’ responsibility without fully explaining how cooperation should be encouraged in workplaces and adult life. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation and a concrete example to make the discussion more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “Additionally” help readers follow the discussion. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward: “On the other side of the edge” is not a natural transition, and “therefore” and “as a result” are used repeatedly to connect ideas. The long opening sentence in the first body paragraph also joins several consequences, making the progression harder to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and divide chains of cause and effect into shorter units. Ensure that each paragraph develops one central point before moving to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You show some range by using topic-related terms such as “cooperative,” “competitive,” “selfish,” and “betray,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more formal vocabulary, including “contemporary era” and “plethora,” but some choices are unnatural or imprecise in context. “On the other side of the edge” does not express the intended contrast, while “handsome salary” and “less empathical” are not appropriate collocations or forms. Spelling errors such as “propmotion,” “employes,” and “Furhtermore” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural, precise phrases rather than ornate wording, and proofread spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “while,” “because,” and “if,” and most of the argument remains understandable. Some sentences, however, contain errors in structure or agreement. For example, “they achieve higher grades and so is the case with people working” has faulty parallel construction, and “This therefore put a responsibility” has an incorrect verb form. The conditional “if children will develop” should use a present-tense form after “if,” and “they want to be the on the top” contains an unnecessary article. Several sentences are also very long, with multiple clauses joined together. Use a wider range of controlled sentence patterns and check verb forms, articles, and clause boundaries.

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