Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, the comptition is the major issue in all the socities of the World. It is widely belived that this issue has increasingly significant in all over the World. While some critics argue that we should try to cooperate more rather than competing against each other. This essay will discuss both views about the competition. to discuss both opnions i will give my own opnion.

To begin with, some people argue that competition at work, at school and in daily life is agood thing because in present days most people try to work hard in every field of life to show their capability. As a result, they will be successed in every profession. For instance, many people work in silent because their success make noise. In addition, we can prove ourself. This may lead to, we can participate in every activity. For example, participation in different activities could improve our knowledge.

On the other hand, some critics argue that cooperetion is more better than competition because with cooperation we can meet with new peoples and know how to behave. As a result we will know how to react with other people. For instance, how different people taught to them.

In conclusion, in recent years, many people work hard to compete with others instead of being cooperative. In my personal perspective, competition is better than cooperation because with competition we can learn many new things by participating in different activities. I think government should take new steps to arrange different types of programs so people will participate in these programs to improve their knowledge.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response addresses both sides and gives a clear preference for competition, especially in the conclusion, where you say it helps people learn through participation. However, the discussion is only minimally developed: the benefits of competition are stated broadly, while the cooperation paragraph gives little explanation beyond meeting people and learning how to behave. The examples, such as “many people work in silent because their success make noise,” do not clearly support the point. The response also contains 239 words, so it is 11 words below the required minimum; the 24 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each view with a specific, relevant example and explain how it supports your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: an introduction is followed by separate paragraphs for competition and cooperation, then a conclusion. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of the response. However, progression within paragraphs is weak, and several links between ideas are unclear. For example, “This may lead to, we can participate in every activity” does not show a clear relationship to the preceding point, while “For instance, how different people taught to them” is difficult to follow. The introduction also repeats the intention to discuss both views. Use fewer formulaic transitions and connect each claim, explanation, and example explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “competition,” “cooperate,” “capability,” and “participate,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make expression imprecise. Examples include “comptition,” “socities,” “belived,” and “cooperetion”; phrases such as “work in silent,” “successed in every profession,” and “more better” are also unnatural or incorrect. These problems sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to interpret, particularly in the examples. Build accuracy with common collocations and check spelling and word forms, rather than relying on broad or unclear phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some complex sentences, including clauses with “because” and “so,” and the overall meaning can often be followed. However, the range is limited and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation. For example, “this issue has increasingly significant” lacks a suitable verb form, and “their success make noise” has a subject–verb agreement error. “As a result, they will be successed” uses an incorrect verb form, while “To discuss both opnions i will give my own opnion” has faulty capitalisation and punctuation. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with subordinate clauses; proofread each sentence for a complete verb pattern and correct agreement.

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