Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many argue that rivalry at professional and personal life is a good thing.Other argue we should try to help eachother, rather than competing eachother.

In my opinion, it really depends what the situation is before i take any sides.

Firstly, Competing with your peers isn't always a negative act. Sometimes people inspire you in such a way that you want to become like one. For example, in my final year of bachelors i lacked presentation skills and one of my friend inspired me by doing his presentations. when i saw him doing presentation without nervousness and voice shaking it taught me that you can also do. i started competing with him in a frienldy manner ,he pushed me i learned alot from him and eventually i got better.Many people compete with there fathers just to be like them because they know how gentleman he is.

Secondly, Things get worse, If you are competing with somone just beacuse you want to outperform them.Someone people don't realize the hardwork nened to achieve a goal or learn a skill.For example, in my class a student always use to hide the best perfomers books so that he can destroy his reputation but it always ends in a fight that disturbs the enviroment of the class.There is not learning or slef growth in competing with some just beacuse they have more than you.

Inconclusion, competition is a healthy way of improving your self by learning and working hard but if you compete just to outperfrom people based on jealousy and hatred it would lead to negative consequences.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear, qualified opinion: competition can be beneficial when it encourages learning, but harmful when driven by jealousy. The presentation-skills example supports the positive view, while the student hiding classmates’ books illustrates the negative effects. These are relevant and help explain your position. However, the discussion is not equally developed: cooperation is mainly implied through helping and learning from a peer, rather than explored as a distinct alternative to competition. The point about competing with fathers is also introduced briefly and not explained. To strengthen the response, develop what cooperation offers and compare its benefits directly with healthy competition.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting effects, and a conclusion that restates your view. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Inconclusion” make the progression easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, some links are mechanical or unclear, and several ideas run together. For instance, the presentation example moves quickly from your friend’s influence to competing, learning, and improving without clearly showing each connection. The sentence about fathers also feels detached from the example before it. Use clearer transitions between examples and explanations, and make references such as “they” or “it” unambiguous to improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “rivalry,” “inspire,” “outperform,” “reputation,” and “negative consequences.” Some phrases also convey useful distinctions, such as competing “in a friendly manner” versus competing out of “jealousy and hatred.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts less natural or occasionally harder to understand. Examples include “competing eachother,” “one of my friend,” and “there fathers”; spelling errors such as “frienldy,” “enviroment,” and “perfrom” are also noticeable. Aim for more precise expressions and proofread carefully. For example, “compete with each other” and “classroom atmosphere” would be more natural choices.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if you are competing with someone just because you want to outperform them” and a contrastive conclusion beginning with “but if.” The main meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems remain. For example, “Other argue” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “in my final year of bachelors i lacked” has problems with articles and sentence-initial capitalization. Several sentences also join multiple clauses with commas, as in the presentation example, making the structure difficult to follow. Practise accurate agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, and divide long sentences where needed.

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