Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals believe that competition atworkplace ,at educational institutes and in day to day life is a beneficial thing While others argue that we should not compete with each other, instead try to work together.But I believe that we should focus on team work instead of competition.

On the one hand,according to some individuals competition is a good thing at jobs, schools and in daily life because it assists individuals to ehance their performance .This is because ,when they compare their progress with others , it helps them to analyze their weak points and work on them to exceed the other individuals which optimize their sucess rate.Moreover it helps the individuals to stay motivated for growth and forces them to work hard to win from others .For instance , in schools the students who have competetive nature are more likely to get highest marks because they compete with other brilliant students.

On the other hand ,the proponents of cooperation thinks that we ought to work together ,rather than competition with each other because competition has negative impact on individual's mental health and team work provides the opportunity to grow together .Competitive nature can cause anxiety and depression for individuals because they do not get satisfied with their own progress they just compete their own performance with others which destroys the happiness of their own acheivement .Moreover,when instead of competing ,individuals work together and cooperate with others it helps them to grow because team work ehances the progress because they learn from each other and try to correct each other's mistakes .As a result, team work gives them high rate of sucess without any negative impact on their mental health.

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AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both perspectives and state your view in the opening: “we should focus on team work instead of competition.” The two body paragraphs give relevant reasons, including motivation and performance on the competitive side, and mental health and shared learning on the cooperative side. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the school example is brief, and the cooperation paragraph makes broad claims without a specific illustration. Most importantly, the response ends with the incomplete phrase “although com,” so your final opinion is not fully explained or brought to a clear conclusion. Develop each main reason with a fuller example and complete the ending so your position is consistently supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “Moreover.” This helps readers identify the contrast. However, progression is weakened by long, crowded sentences and repeated use of “because” and “Moreover,” which can make the argument feel mechanical. Some links between claims are not fully clear, and the final paragraph begins but does not develop, leaving the essay without a complete ending. Use shorter sentences to separate reasons from explanations, vary linking expressions, and finish with a concise conclusion that restates your view.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “performance,” “motivated,” “anxiety,” “depression,” and “cooperate,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “proponents of cooperation.” However, spelling errors and awkward or repetitive combinations reduce precision: “ehance,” “sucess,” and “competetive” recur, while “win from others” and “high rate of sucess” are not natural collocations. “Team work” is also repeated frequently. Check spelling carefully, learn common word partnerships, and vary repeated terms with accurate alternatives such as “collaboration” or “joint effort.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex structures, including clauses beginning with “because” and a contrast introduced by “although.” However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. For example, “the proponents of cooperation thinks” has subject–verb disagreement, while “rather than competition with each other” does not fit grammatically into its sentence. Several sentences run together without reliable punctuation, and the final “although com” is incomplete. Practise building one main clause at a time, checking agreement and clause structure, and using full stops to prevent run-on sentences. These changes would make your ideas easier to follow.

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