Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some people believe that compitition at work, at school, and in daily life is an effective way to encourage indivduals work hard, other argue that we should cooperate more to motivate people for continue progress. I will discuss both viewpoints and will give my opinion accordingly.

To begin with, competition plays an essential role in improving the life of the people. it encourage people to to learn new skills and create new opportunities for theri personal and profession development. As a result, tit helps people to maintain their high standard and improve their qualit of life. For example, if students participate in school drama competition parcticingmany time during prepartion to aviod mistake which amke the individual more professional and boost their confidence, Therefore, cometition make people more punctual and hard worker.

On the other hand,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You introduce both sides of the debate and state that you will give your opinion, while the paragraph on competition offers relevant points about learning skills, personal development and confidence. However, the response stops after “On the other hand,” so the cooperative view is not discussed and your own opinion is never made clear. The example about a school drama competition is relevant, but its explanation is difficult to follow and does not fully develop the point. The response is 126 words, which is 124 words below the required minimum; this leaves the task only minimally addressed. To improve, complete both sides, state your position directly, and support each main idea with a clear explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction is followed by a paragraph beginning “To begin with,” and “On the other hand” signals a contrast. These markers help the reader recognise the intended structure. However, the second viewpoint is left as an unfinished fragment, so the essay has no completed progression or conclusion. Within the competition paragraph, the example and its explanation run together, and the link between practising for a drama competition and becoming “more professional” is not clearly expressed. Develop a complete paragraph for cooperation, use clear sentence boundaries, and finish with a conclusion that brings the discussion together and states your view.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “competition,” “cooperate,” “personal and profession development,” “opportunities” and “confidence.” This gives the response a basic range for discussing the topic, and the intended meaning is generally recoverable. However, spelling errors such as “compitition,” “indivduals,” “theri” and “cometition,” together with inaccurate forms such as “profession development,” are noticeable and sometimes make reading harder. Some phrasing is also imprecise, for example “maintain their high standard” and “continue progress.” Check spelling carefully and choose more natural collocations, such as “professional development,” “maintain high standards” and “make continued progress.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence that gives a reason and result: “As a result, it helps people…” However, control is inconsistent. In the opening, “encourage individuals work hard” needs a grammatical pattern such as “encourage individuals to work hard,” and “other argue” has a subject–verb agreement error. The example sentence beginning “For example, if students participate…” becomes difficult to follow because clauses and punctuation are not controlled, and the final “On the other hand,” is incomplete. Capitalisation after full stops is also inconsistent. Practise accurate verb patterns and agreement, and divide longer ideas into complete, clearly punctuated sentences.

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