Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people believes that competing with each other at places like work, school or in daily life is a greatful thing to do and it can be one of a reason to improve ourselves from the rest. While some of persons thinks that we have to encourage more to cooperate with everyone rather than being selfish. I will give my opinion in the conclusion and also i will discuss about both the situations in below paragraph with an example.

Initially, nowadays people are becoming a more rude towards their friends, collegues and with their family members because they are visualizing everything based on their skills and their independent capacity to do that work and not apperciating others. The major reason for this could be a parenting issue because in childhood many parents force their children to compete at same level from another kid. Which can cause aim mental disease. For example; a men becomes competitive because they were grown in that kind of competitive environment. Secondly, The amount of jealousy some people cannot handle from others that they become more aggresive and try to compete with others just to show their ability. For example; a school kid is jealous from his friend because his friend got a good marks but he was failed and now it wants to take a revenge of and he will try to compete with that student.

On the other hand, there have been still some people who believes that perfect team cooperation can be the most effective reason for achieving goals together. The foremost advantage is that people becomes more comfortable and friendly. For example; if the team has people who trust eachother on their skills then the project will become more reliable and easy process for them, trust is the another reason for cooperation.

To conclude, as i discussed both views which includes my own aspects and example. I will take a side of those people who encourages human to cooperate with other is a good sign of respect, kindness and to build the trust.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a preference for cooperation in the conclusion. The paragraph about competition gives reasons such as parental pressure and jealousy, while the cooperation paragraph explains how trust can make teamwork more effective. However, the discussion is uneven: competition receives two examples and several claims, whereas cooperation is supported by only one brief example. Some points also do not clearly explain whether competition itself is beneficial or harmful; for instance, the examples focus mainly on aggression and revenge. The introduction postpones your opinion rather than establishing it clearly, and the conclusion repeats the preference without summarising the main reasoning. Develop both views more evenly and explain your position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “Initially,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” help signal the stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. The competition paragraph moves from rudeness to parenting and then jealousy without clearly connecting these points, and the sentence beginning “Which can cause…” is detached from the preceding idea. Some linking phrases sound mechanical, while references such as “that student” and “it” in the school example are not always clear. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it in a more direct sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “competitive environment,” “cooperation,” “jealousy,” “aggressive,” and “reliable.” These choices show that you can discuss causes and effects, but the range is limited and several word forms, spellings, or collocations are inaccurate enough to make parts less natural. Examples include “greatful thing,” “collegues,” “apperciating,” and “aim mental disease”; the last phrase is especially unclear. Expressions such as “encourage more to cooperate” and “take a revenge of” also do not fit standard usage. Aim for precise, natural combinations rather than adding complex-sounding phrases, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple sentences and attempts at longer structures, including a contrast introduced by “While” and a conditional example beginning “if the team has people…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “Many people believes” should have a plural verb, while “some of persons thinks” has problems with both the noun phrase and agreement. “Which can cause…” is an incomplete sentence, and “people becomes” also shows subject–verb disagreement. The conclusion contains a long, awkwardly joined sentence. Practise building accurate short sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses and check agreement and punctuation.

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