Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This is very interesting topic to discuss. Competition in our life plays a very important role. It is also a very good activity to done. Competition makes our mind more active to thinking. Competition also allows people to share their capabilities as well as their thinking.

So competition at work, at school as well as in daily life makes people more active. Due to competition people thinks that they should make theirselves better than others. By competition people try to win fron others. They also thinks that they must win the conmpetition so they set their mindset to defeat the other person. However, by competition it also makes our mind healthy and increase their thinking capabilities. It also makes the people to compete of others and not giving up. So people become more encouraged for their win.

On the other hand some people thinks that instead of competition we must try to cooperate with others. This is really a good thing but competition also an important activity for people and students. Competition at schools or at work tells that how many people encouraged about their win. Actually it is not against someone it is only the temporary compete. In our schools mostly it is done as a activity between the students. It also teach the students that who to understand a problem or how to solve it.

So, I think that it is very important activity specially for students. And in our schools and colleges it must be done between our students to increase their thinking capabilities. It also make our nation that how to compete with others and how to win.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response gives a clear preference for competition, especially in the conclusion, where you say it is important for students and should be used in schools and colleges. You also mention cooperation as an alternative, but this view is only briefly acknowledged: “we must try to cooperate with others” is followed by a return to the benefits of competition, without explaining why cooperation matters or giving an example. The discussion of competition includes relevant points about motivation and problem-solving, but several claims are repeated or unclear, such as people becoming “more active” and wanting to win. To strengthen the response, explain both sides more fully and support each with a specific example, then make your position clear throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

Your response has a basic overall structure: it introduces competition, develops its benefits, signals the opposing view with “On the other hand,” and ends with your opinion. These paragraph divisions help the reader identify the main stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is limited because several sentences repeat similar points about winning, motivation, and thinking capabilities. Some links are also unclear or mechanical, including “So” at the start of the conclusion and repeated use of “also.” The reference in “It also teach the students” is not fully clear, and the paragraph about cooperation does not develop that side before moving back to competition. Group related ideas more carefully and use clearer links between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “competition,” “cooperate,” “capabilities,” “encouraged,” and “solve” a problem, so the main subject is generally understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive, particularly “competition,” “people,” “win,” and “thinking capabilities,” and some word choices or combinations are unnatural. For example, “a very good activity to done,” “compete of others,” and “encouraged about their win” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “fron” and “conmpetition” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of precise expressions for motivation, teamwork, and achievement, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing relies mainly on short, simple statements, with a few attempts to connect ideas using “because,” “so,” and “however.” This gives some variety, but the range of sentence structures remains limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response awkward or unclear. Examples include “This is very interesting topic,” “people thinks,” “it also teach,” and “it also make,” where articles or subject–verb agreement are incorrect. The sentence “Competition makes our mind more active to thinking” also has an inaccurate grammatical pattern. Practise accurate agreement and verb forms, and build longer sentences by joining a claim to its explanation or example. Proofreading each sentence for its subject and verb would help.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.