Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, most of the people think that competition is good thing at work place, at school and daily life and other believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competion with other individuals. I believe that competition is beneficial thing to improve our progress and academic skills. Discuss both viewpoint with my opinion in upcomng paragraph.

To begin with, one major reason is that in modern the world competition is on peak in every sectors, schools and daily life. Firstly all the individuals are facing difficulties every were so be ready for the chellengous because it helpful for chosing a better carrer option, compet of government jobs or better academic score. However, competition is much benefical for increasing academic score, for example a student want to compet other high scored student, it was a great motivation for that student.

Furtermore, Another significant factor is that try to cooperate more instead of conpetition with other individuals because every poeple have their different intrest in various fiels. Also their have to performe better in that activitie or sector. Somewhere comepition is be a reason for fighting and arguments, for instance when I compet with my friends, my friends start jealous for that.

In Conclusion, every where has hug competition for jobs, high academic score and for carrer is benefical because these is depend on the performane of every individuals. According to my point for veiw competition is

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear preference for competition, saying it can improve progress and academic skills, and you include points about motivation and possible conflict. However, the discussion of cooperation is brief and its benefits are not clearly explained, so the two views are not addressed in a balanced or sufficiently developed way. The example about friends becoming jealous is relevant, but it needs explanation of how cooperation could prevent this. Your conclusion is unfinished: “According to my point for veiw competition is” does not restate a complete opinion. The response is also 23 words below the required minimum; the 10 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Develop both sides and complete the conclusion to address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To begin with” and “Furthermore” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first body paragraph moves from general competition to career choices and then academic scores without fully connecting these points. The cooperation paragraph also shifts quickly from different interests to arguments and jealousy. Some linking phrases are mechanical or do not clarify the relationship between ideas, and the final sentence is incomplete, disrupting the ending. Use a clear topic sentence for each view, then explain and illustrate that point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “competition,” “cooperate,” “academic score,” “motivation” and “arguments,” so the main topic is generally identifiable. However, the range is basic and several words or phrases are repeated, while frequent spelling errors make the writing harder to read: examples include “competion,” “chellengous,” “benefical” and “comepition.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “competition is on peak” and “compete other high scored student.” Aim to learn accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions would help you explain the advantages and disadvantages without relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the response includes basic connectors such as “because,” “for example” and “when.” However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For instance, “Firstly all the individuals are facing difficulties every were so be ready” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “a student want to compet other high scored student” has problems with subject–verb agreement and sentence construction. Articles and plurals are also often missing or inconsistent, as in “competition is good thing” and “every individuals.” The final sentence is incomplete. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement, articles and punctuation.

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