Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Numerous amount of individuals having one particular belief which is having to compete with other individuals at job, school and daily activities, In contrast to help each other instead of competition. In my opinion a striking balance is essential rather than having a toxic competition or a loose end of the rope which is excessive co-operation.

Starting with competition which is a kind of activity in the physical or intellectual aspects. For instance, two students are in the same class with higher IQ, they are naturally tend to fight for the better scores in every subjects. This is a good a way of competition which leads to a better result and a better future. Next is job sectors however they are filled with various academic persons. Suppose a foreign company gives a project to be done within a specific time and company has two teams for this work to be done quickly, the company may use the skills from both of the team to get the best work out of them.In every aspects, state of our life we may face positive competition.

Subsequently having toxic competition at school, work or anywhere actually leads to some obstacles. Initially, under the competitive environment students may fall the Victim of losing focus, concentration, appetite and inspiration. Sometimes this may lead to self harm, and catalyze the suicidal instinct. On the other hand having negative and unhealthy work space leads to less work efficiency, mental health deterioration and physical problems. To gain the best profit you might need to have a balanced environment. Being too generous in school to get bully or being too helpful to get a negative attitude at work is showing the balancing mechanism that is needed to be ensured in the life.

In the end, it is vivid that having healthy competition is beneficial in every way of life, balancing the life within boundaries should be the utmost focus rather than regretting.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a position: healthy competition can be beneficial, but a balance is preferable to either extreme. The examples of students striving for better scores and teams completing a company project are relevant, while the discussion of stress and reduced efficiency explains possible harms. However, the cooperation side is less fully explored: the team example describes using combined skills, but does not clearly explain how cooperation itself benefits people. The final paragraph also repeats the preference for balance rather than drawing together the two views in detail. Develop the benefits of cooperation with a specific example and make the relationship between cooperation and healthy competition clearer to strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to competition, then its negative effects, and finally a conclusion. Paragraphing helps the reader follow this broad progression, and signposts such as “Starting with” and “On the other hand” indicate shifts in focus. However, some links feel mechanical or do not accurately express the relationship between ideas. “Subsequently” does not clearly introduce a contrast, and the opening sentence is difficult to follow because it combines competing and cooperating views without a clear grammatical link. Within paragraphs, examples sometimes arrive without enough explanation of how they support the main point. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the argument it illustrates.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “toxic competition,” “work efficiency,” “mental health deterioration,” and “balanced environment.” These choices show an effort to discuss both practical and personal consequences. However, several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural and sometimes make the intended meaning less clear, such as “Numerous amount of individuals,” “a loose end of the rope,” and “fall the Victim.” Some word forms and collocations also need attention: “academic persons” is not a natural way to describe employees, and “in every aspects” is incorrect. Aim for precise, conventional phrasing rather than elaborate expressions whose meaning is uncertain. More accurate collocations would make your ideas easier to understand and more persuasive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple and more extended sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If a foreign company gives a project…” and a range of clauses to explain consequences. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. For example, “they are naturally tend to fight” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “two teams for this work to be done quickly” is awkwardly constructed. The opening sentence is a fragment, and several sentences run together, as in “...out of them.In every aspects...” Review subject–verb patterns, sentence boundaries, and comma use. Building accurate complex sentences before adding further complexity will improve clarity.

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