Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

THERE IS AN ONGOING DEBIT ABOUT WHETHER COMPETITION AT WORK,SCHOOL AND EVEN IN DAILY LIFE IS A BENEFICIAL FACTOR OR COOPERATION IS A BETTER OPTION. IN MY OPINION, I THINK THAT ALTHOUGH COOPERATING WITH EACHOTHER IS A POSITIVE ASPECT FOR HUMANKIND, IT IS ALSO IMPORTANT TO BE COMPETITIVE TO IMPROVE ONESELF.

ONE MAJOR REASON IS THAT HUMAN NATURE ALWAYS WANTS TO BE BETTER THAN OTHERS SO THAT COMPETITION HAPPENS BETWEEN SEVERAL THINGS TO PROVE OWNSELF BETTER THAN SOMEONE ELSE. COMPETITON IS KNOW FOR FIGHTING FOR OWN BENEFITS OR TO PROVE BETTER. IT HELPS COMPETITIORS TO EVEN SCORE BETTER IN EDUCATION THAT MIGHT BE THE PLUS POINT FOR AN SCOLORSHIPS BESIDES THAT EMPLOYEES MIGHTS ALSO GET CHANCE TO GET PROMOTION AT THEIR COMPANIES. WHAT IS MORE THAT IT IS USEFUL FOR DAILY LIFE ASWELL BECAUSE IT HEPLS TO FACE DIFFICULTIES SO THAT WHEN THERE'S SOMETHING DIFFICULT THINGS INSTEAD OF BACKING OFF IT TEACHES TO FIGHT BACK RATHER THAN GIVING UP.

IN THE OTHER HAND, COOPERATION HELPS TO REACH THE GOAL TOGETHER BY WORKING WITH EACHOTHER. UNLIKE COMPETITION WHICH ONLY THINKS ABOUT WINING BY OWNSELF, COOPERATION IS A DIFFERENT THING WHIC IS GOOD FOR THOSE INDIVIDUALS WHO WANTS TO ACHIEVE TOGETHER.

IN CONCLUSION. BOTH ARE

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You present a relevant position: cooperation is positive, but competition can help people improve. The discussion of competition includes examples from education, scholarships, promotion and facing difficulties, so the main view is identifiable. However, the cooperation side is only briefly described, and the essay does not explain its benefits with a specific example. The conclusion is unfinished (“IN CONCLUSION. BOTH ARE”), leaving your final judgement unclear. The response also contains 203 words, below the required 250, which limits how fully you can discuss both views. Develop each side with a clear reason and example, then finish by stating which approach you consider more valuable and why.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph about competition, a paragraph about cooperation and an attempted conclusion. Linking phrases such as “IN MY OPINION,” “WHAT IS MORE” and “IN THE OTHER HAND” show an effort to guide the reader. However, progression is limited because the cooperation paragraph is very short and the conclusion stops before completing the argument. Some connections are unclear, particularly the long sequence beginning “IT HELPS COMPETITIORS,” where education, scholarships, promotion and daily challenges are joined without clear separation. Use one main idea per paragraph, connect each example explicitly to that idea, and use accurate transitions such as “On the other hand.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “competition,” “cooperation,” “promotion,” “scholarships” and “difficulties,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “prove ownself better,” “competition happens between several things” and “fight for own benefits.” Spelling errors, including “debit,” “competiton,” “sc olor ships” (written as “SCOLORSHIPS”) and “hepls,” also make the writing less clear and controlled. Aim for more precise expressions and check spelling carefully. For example, describe competition as motivating people to improve or helping employees earn promotion, rather than relying repeatedly on “better” and “fight.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a complex opening with “although” and a reason clause beginning “so that.” The main ideas can generally be understood, but errors in sentence construction and agreement occur regularly. For example, “employees mights also get chance” has an incorrect verb form and missing article, while “those individuals who wants” has a subject–verb agreement error. The sentence beginning “WHAT IS MORE THAT” is also difficult to follow because several clauses are joined without clear punctuation. Use shorter, complete sentences when expressing examples, check singular and plural subjects, and review articles and verb forms. The unfinished conclusion also leaves a sentence incomplete.

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