Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some individual think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Other believe that we should try to coorperate more, rather than competing against each other. In my opinion, we should try more encourage in competition in daily life.

On the one hand, competition is a great thing in our daily life, because mostly people watch videos on social media about different things. For instance, watching video about successful businessman and young students watch video about young generation achieved desire goals. Then, some individual doing hard work in daily life. However, in schools and universities young generation doing competition during participating in different activities.

On the other hand, some individual belive that we should try to coorperate more against other competitors. This thing is not good in our daily life, because if we try to coorperate with every individuals, then we will not see success in our daily life. Nowadays, everyone do not care about other life, everyone doing hard work for success and achieving goals. In addition, at some places we should try to coorperate for humanity. For example, in university young generation participate in different societies; such as debating and others. Then, some young generation humble during against small competitior.

In my opinion, we try to encourage more competition in our daily life, because if in our daily life, we will not see failure against competition, then we will not do hard work. So, everyone should try to more hard work at every field.

Overall, competition is a great thing in society. Because, more people encourage through competition in like cricket and football. Furthermore, when students gave board exams, mostly students compete against each others. I like these things in schools, because this is the stage for growing childs for achieving desire goals and obtain good grades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear overall preference for competition, stating that it encourages people to work hard and achieve goals. You also mention cooperation and provide examples from universities and sports. However, the discussion of both views is only minimally developed: the reasons for cooperation are not explained clearly, and the claim that cooperating with everyone means people “will not see success” is asserted rather than supported. Several examples, such as social-media videos and board exams, are mentioned without showing how they prove your point. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits of cooperation as well as competition, then support each with a specific, relevant example and maintain a clear position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an identifiable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a concluding opinion. These signposts help readers recognise the intended discussion. However, ideas within paragraphs do not consistently progress in a logical way: the first body paragraph moves from social-media videos to hard work and then school activities without explaining the links. The second paragraph also shifts between criticism of cooperation and an example of university societies. Connect each example directly to its main point, and use clearer referencing so phrases such as “This thing” have an unmistakable meaning. A more focused sequence of claim, explanation, and example would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “competition,” “cooperate,” “achieving goals,” “success,” and “participate,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with “daily life,” “young generation,” and “hard work” appearing repeatedly. Several word choices or combinations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “encourage in competition,” “humble during against small competitior,” and “growing childs.” Spelling errors, including “coorperate,” “belive,” and “competitior,” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of precise expressions for discussing collaboration and rivalry, and check spelling and natural word combinations. This will help you express distinctions between the two views more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences using connectors such as “because,” “if,” and “when,” and the reader can usually identify your main opinion. However, sentence structures are very limited overall, and frequent errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “Some individual think,” “Other believe,” “everyone do not care,” and “students gave board exams,” where agreement or verb forms are inaccurate. Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention; for example, “watching video” and “Because, more people encourage…” are not correctly formed. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them into longer sentences while checking subject–verb agreement, tense, articles, and punctuation.

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