Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern world there are varous masses who argues that competition in daily life is a good thing while other believe that this kind of approch would lead to a reason of conflict in individuals,so the coopration would be more prefered. I partly agree with this statement beacuse competition would be the reason of someonce success, without it their would be no gread to win. In this essay i will discuss both views before sharing my views.

Firstly, Accoring to human psycology if there would be fear of loss or compition only them an individual would had a gread to win. So, in some situation it is very neccessary to have a compition just like in a sport feild if their would be no compiteor them players performent will definately declined and they would not be able to win in any game. Simultaneously it would happen in classrooms to, for example, in a classroom if there wouldnot be sufficient students them their would not be any gread in them to perform well to get good greads.

On the other hand, such compition would had some bad effect on human psychology, being in the constant space of compition would had bad impact on brain, while doing a simple task would be feel like a race with someone which may had a poor impact on people. To illustrate, a person driving a car and he is a light jam on the road but he is rashdriving in that rush because he had that mind set that everyone is compiting with him and he had to win this whether no one is compiting with him.

To sumup, I believe that compition is good to imporove individuals performance but a constent impact of such competition would be realy harmful, so it should be limit to some existent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the discussion and state a qualified position: competition can improve performance, but constant competition can be harmful. The examples of sports, classroom performance and risky driving are relevant and help illustrate the contrast. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. The classroom example is difficult to follow and does not clearly explain how having more students creates motivation, while the driving example could be linked more explicitly to the wider effects of excessive competition. Your conclusion restates your view, but “limited to some extent” would be clearer if you specified when competition is useful and when cooperation should take priority. Develop each example with a clearer explanation of its consequences.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” make the direction of the argument easy to recognise. Within paragraphs, however, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Simultaneously” does not clearly show how the classroom example relates to the sports example, and the sentence beginning “To illustrate” is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined together. Some references, including “this kind of approach” and “such competition,” could identify their subject more precisely. Use clearer links between each claim and its example, and organise longer sentences so that each step in the reasoning is easy to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “competition,” “cooperation,” “constant,” “performance,” and “impact,” and you use some topic-specific expressions such as “fear of loss.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the argument difficult to understand. Phrases such as “a reason of conflict,” “a great to win,” and “in a constant space of competition” do not express the intended meanings naturally. Spelling errors are also noticeable, including “varous,” “approch,” and “perfered.” Build a more reliable set of expressions for discussing motivation, achievement and pressure, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would make your examples clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple and longer sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if there would be no competitor” and a contrast introduced by “while.” This shows an attempt to vary sentence patterns. However, some complex sentences are not controlled successfully, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning hard to follow. For example, “players performance will definitely declined” has problems with the possessive form and verb pattern, while “a person driving a car and he is a light jam” is not a complete, well-formed sentence. Review conditional forms and ensure each sentence has a clear subject and main verb. Breaking long sentences into shorter units will also help you control punctuation and grammar.

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