Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Competing to gain something valuable is a positive attribute. It shows that a person is determined and resilient to achieve something in their life. If an employee is working hard to compete for a promotion or a child at school is competing for first position in their class then it depicts their seriousness about their goals and achievements. But many times this happens that during competiton a person's main focus is just on their winning prize and in order to achieve that they tend to forget their moral or ethical values. While competing for a goal is a good thing but leaving your moral values behind to gain something either by hook or crook is not acceptable.

I personally believe that when a child is taught to compete in academics or in any competition, then they should be appreciated for the efforts they had made even if they win or loose because thats not the point of competing. A person should know that competiton is not always about winning its about achieveing something through your efforts and hard work. Thats how a person stays motivated to excel.

On the other hand when there is a pressure on a person that in either way he has to win and the opponent should be defeated, this leads to negative feelings of hate and jealousy being developed inside an indiviual. When a competition turns into a battle then things take a wrong turn. In these situations opponents instead of competing fairly choose to make some questionable choices which are against the values of humanity. We observe these kind of examples in our daily life at workplaces or academic schools and colleges where we encounter these type of people who are always competing or focused on achieving more than others and they see everyone as their opponet rather their acquaintance.

My opinion on this matter is if a person is determined to fulfil their goals then they should work on their efforts, put hardwork and keep their dealings honest even if they are competing then they should never compromise on their moral values.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both perspectives and give a clear personal view: competition can motivate people, but it should not lead them to abandon ethical standards. The examples of an employee seeking promotion and a child aiming for a high class position are relevant. However, the discussion is weighted toward the dangers of competition; cooperation is not explained as a distinct alternative, and its benefits are not developed. The final paragraph repeats the emphasis on honest effort rather than clarifying when cooperation may be preferable or how it can complement competition. To strengthen the response, explain a specific advantage of cooperation, such as sharing knowledge to solve problems, and support both sides with more fully developed examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an opening discussion, a paragraph about motivation, a contrasting paragraph on harmful rivalry, and a concluding opinion. Connectors such as “But,” “On the other hand,” and “My opinion” help signal shifts. However, the progression is not always clear: the second paragraph continues the case for healthy competition rather than developing cooperation, despite the contrast implied by the next paragraph. Some links are also awkward or repetitive, including “In these situations” followed by “We observe these kind of examples.” Make each paragraph serve a distinct purpose and use clearer references to connect claims to examples. This would make the argument easier to follow without relying mainly on signposting phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “determined,” “resilient,” “ethical values,” “jealousy,” and “competing fairly.” These choices help communicate the contrast between constructive ambition and harmful rivalry. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “questionable choices” and “values of humanity,” though some expressions are imprecise or unnatural: “gain something either by hook or crook,” “first position in their class,” and “focused on achieving more than others.” Spelling errors such as “competiton,” “achieveing,” and “opponet” are noticeable, even though the intended meaning remains clear. Aim for more precise collocations and proofread spelling so that your vocabulary sounds consistently natural and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and longer sentences with subordinate clauses, for example, “If an employee is working hard to compete for a promotion…” and “when a competition turns into a battle…”. This shows some range, and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, some sentence structures and punctuation are not well controlled. The opening paragraph contains a long sentence beginning “But many times this happens that,” which is awkwardly constructed, while “While competing for a goal is a good thing but…” combines two contrasting structures unnecessarily. There are also errors in agreement and verb forms, as in “the efforts they had made” and “a person should know that competition is not always about winning its about achieving.” Use shorter, more controlled sentences where needed, and check clause structure, agreement, and punctuation.

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