Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is always a debate on competitios in modern world. Some argue that being competative in several fields of life is important while other think more cooperation is good instead of working againts others. In my opinion, former idea is better as it brings more positivity in individual life. This essay will discuss both points and my opinion.

On the one hand, if someone has competitions with his work fellows and classmates it will definetely helps him in through discovering his goals. Firstly, he is well determined about getting top position by overtaking all the other fellows. Furthermore, having race in his mind will encourage him to move forward. Nevertheless, although he is well aware of his next steps to beat all his competators, negativites may come to his ways. In addition the person feels restlessness during his other chores of life while staying in cpmpetition state. For example, a national hockey player goes under depression because he always thinks of success and that leads to mental illness.

On the other hand, being more available for someone rather than thinking against them, build a relax mind. We should focus on our steps rather than reaching at goals by overtaking others. Moreover, cooperations give a feeling of happiness and satisfaction which money can not buy. Hence in my prospective, main focus of an individual should be on becoming a responsible citizen by giving his efforts in a teamwork. Although everyone wants to be successful in their lives but a person success is not associated with another person failure. Hence just focus on your grooming. A great business person Rakhi shares his views being satistifictions and happiness that come to her life while helping other during cooperation work.

In conclusion, I would suggest that instead of wasting your energy in a race to compete others, stay positive and available in your every aspect of life either personal or professional. Positive attitude will automatically brings gratittude and relief in a person life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both competition and cooperation and state a clear preference for cooperation in the later paragraphs, but your position is inconsistent: the introduction says the “former idea” (competition) is better, while the conclusion recommends avoiding competition. This makes your overall response less clear. The competition paragraph gives relevant benefits, such as motivation to reach goals, and also mentions stress, but the example of a hockey player becoming depressed is not explained or clearly connected to the argument. Your cooperation points—teamwork, happiness and helping others—are relevant, though they are mostly asserted rather than developed with specific reasoning. Make your opinion consistent from the introduction onward and explain one or two examples in greater depth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. This gives the reader an overall route through the discussion, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help identify the sections. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes uneven. For example, the competition paragraph moves from motivation to negative effects without clearly showing how these points relate, while the cooperation paragraph shifts from teamwork to personal success and then to an example about a businessperson. Some linking words, including repeated “Hence” and “Moreover,” feel mechanical, and “his” in “his next steps” has an unclear reference. Group related points more tightly and use clearer links between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “determined,” “overtaking,” “restlessness,” “satisfaction,” and “teamwork.” These choices show an effort to express both the benefits and drawbacks of competition. However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “person,” “life,” and “focus,” and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less precise: “competative,” “competators,” “cpmpetition,” and “prospective.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “having race in his mind” and “available for someone.” Aim to learn topic-specific collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise phrases such as “strive to outperform colleagues” or “work collaboratively” would make your ideas clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex structures, including conditional and concessive clauses: “if someone has competitions…” and “although everyone wants to be successful…”. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “it will definetely helps him” has incorrect verb agreement, and “being more available for someone … build a relax mind” has a faulty subject–verb pattern. Other examples include “cooperations give” and “Positive attitude will automatically brings,” where agreement is incorrect. Articles and sentence construction also need attention, as in “a person success.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking agreement and verb forms in each sentence.

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