Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that competition should be included in all our educational sites,workplaces and moreover in all the daily activities as well while others claim that we should cooperate with each other. I agree with this view as sometimes it brings a feeling of jealousy and hatred to each other which brings a negative environment.

On the one hand, a large of worplaces employes had left their job due to the negative environmemt it creates. As all the employees want a better position at work that they start getting jealous of each other and started competing. In this race they forgot the feeling of empathy and cooperation towards their other collegue. Another example can be seen in schools the students who perform better than the whole class are mostly hated by the rest of the students. As when they are in their young age their parents and teachers started comparing them and consequently it leads to many mental issues to enormous number of students. Competition has become so much important these days that the learners who did not perform well, feels them as a failure or got demotivated.Their mental health is effected the pressure they face daily.

On the other hand, a large number of individuals belief that competition is an impotant aspect of life, as without competiotion we may loose the feeling of performing or doing better. For instance, if students did not get ranked for their they may lose the ability to perform well as either getting good or bad marks everyone is ranked is ranked in same place. In addition, in the workplaces people perform well to achieve a position such as a manager or a CEO if everyone is in same postion, it may results in lack of creativity among collagues.

All in all it can be concluded that although competiton is a crucial part of life, it does not means that in the feeling of competition we should loss the feeling of humanity or cooperation to each other.We should keep a balance in both to make a better society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the discussion and make your own position clear: you favour cooperation because competition can create jealousy and harm people’s wellbeing. The examples about workplace rivalry and students being compared are relevant, and you also explain why competition may motivate people to perform better. However, the two sides are not developed equally. The negative effects receive several explanations, while the benefits are supported mainly by brief examples about rankings and promotion. Some claims, such as competition causing “many mental issues,” would be more convincing if qualified or explained with a specific example. To strengthen the response, develop the benefits of cooperation as well as competition, and make your final preference for cooperation more explicit in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a concluding summary. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “All in all” help readers follow the discussion. Within paragraphs, however, some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “As when they are in their young age” does not connect smoothly to the preceding sentence, and “In this race” has an imprecise reference. The ideas also sometimes move quickly from one consequence to another without showing the relationship between them. Use clearer referencing and vary the way you connect explanations and examples; ensure each paragraph develops one central point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “jealous,” “empathy,” “cooperation,” “ranked,” and “creativity,” and you attempt some less common expressions such as “negative environment.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “worplaces,” “employes,” “environmemt,” and “competitiion” are examples. Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “a large of workplaces employees” and “loss the feeling of humanity.” Build accuracy with common collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would also help distinguish competition’s effects from the broader pressures of comparison, rather than relying repeatedly on general terms such as “better” and “negative.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “as,” “if,” and “although,” so there is some variety. However, complex structures are not consistently controlled. For example, “As all the employees want a better position at work that they start getting jealous” has an incorrect clause construction, while “it may results” and “the learners who did not perform well, feels them” show problems with verb forms and agreement. There are also sentence-boundary and punctuation issues, such as the run-on transition in “demotivated.Their mental health.” Practise building accurate cause-and-effect sentences and checking subject–verb agreement, tense, and punctuation. Clearer sentence control will make your ideas easier to follow.

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