Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Competition in offices, at institute and in everyday life is healthy thing. while some consider that we should be more helpful to other than competing with each other. in this essay we will talk about competition and i think competition is very important for today generation if someone wants to achieve thier goal. but some people think helping each other is more benificial than competing against each other.

i think competition is very crucial for today generation if some is working at office, studying in school or even in daily life, competitioin give us what we want in life it makes us more consistent rather than to be lazy and don't have any dreams and goals in life. for example if someone is in school and his friends is more inteligent than him he should study more to compete him and the competeition should be healthy not bad to achieve the goal.

While some peolpe think that competing with some is not good we should be more cooperative. because today generation is very selfish and they don't help anyone and they are so irresponsible. for example some people are working in a office if one person stuck at certain peroblem the other co worker should help him but instead of helping him he/she will only make him depressed and discourage him.

in conclusion if someone wants to compete then a person should compete in a healthy way but also the person should have to be helpful to others instead of selfish.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear preference for healthy competition, while also recognising that people should help one another. The school example illustrates how competition may motivate someone to study, and the workplace example shows why cooperation matters. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the benefits of competition are mostly asserted (“it makes us more consistent”) rather than explained, and the cooperation paragraph focuses on selfish behaviour without exploring how cooperation can improve shared outcomes. Your conclusion restates your position but does not bring the two views together in much detail. Develop each main reason with a clearer explanation and a specific consequence to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for competition and cooperation, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the two views. However, progression within paragraphs is limited, and several ideas are joined in long, loosely connected sentences. For example, the competition paragraph moves from motivation to laziness and then to a school example without clearly explaining each link. Connectors such as “while,” “because,” and “for example” are used, but some transitions feel mechanical or do not clearly show the relationship between ideas. Improve cohesion by giving each paragraph a clear topic sentence, developing one point at a time, and using pronouns and linking phrases with precise references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “competition,” “cooperative,” “achieve,” and “discourage.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “competition” and “helping each other.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “thier,” “benificial,” “inteligent,” and “peolpe,” which reduce accuracy and can interrupt reading. Some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, including “competition give us what we want in life” and “compete him.” Build a more varied set of accurate collocations for motivation and teamwork, and proofread spelling. More precise vocabulary would help you express the contrast between individual achievement and shared success.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if someone wants to achieve their goal” and a contrast between competition and cooperation. However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “Competition … is healthy thing,” “competition give us,” and “his friends is,” which show problems with articles, subject–verb agreement, and sentence structure. Several sentences also run together, as in the opening, where a new sentence begins with “while” after a full stop and “in this essay” is not properly punctuated. Practise accurate sentence boundaries, articles, and agreement, then check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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