Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This essay will discuss both point of views and provides a personal opinion on whether there should be competition against each other or not.

Some people believe that competition is very important in the work because if they will not compete, they would become less efficient in their area of work. As a result, there will be no new innovation in the technology, product or production processes. For example, if students will not compete in studies then how the country would get benefit from the highly skilled doctors, engineers and IT masters. Furthermore, competition would also allows people to think creatively and kept them busy in winning the race. Consequently, the chances of crime, rap and other negative activities will be reudced.

The other side of people think that corporate culture is very important for the harmony of society as people will try to live together friendly. For instance, if they would compete they will try to harm others in the lust of success, which will lead to increase in the killing, verbal abuse and hate speeches among the society. This can be seen in the life of famous actors, sports-person and the business man.who are always in the protection of guards, due to the threats of killing by opponents. Hence, this is proved that the elimination of competition is neccessary to unite the nations.

After examining both views, I stronlgy believe that there should be corporation between the people because there is continuous rise in the anxiety patients due to the greed of getting more better than other's. I think that there might be the chance of surge in crime rate in future because many people want to kill their competitors to be dominant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear preference for cooperation in the final paragraph. The discussion of competition includes relevant points about efficiency, innovation and students’ motivation, while the cooperation paragraph raises social harmony and conflict. However, several claims are asserted rather than explained: the link between competition and reduced crime, for example, is unclear, and the claim that competition causes threats to public figures does not fully establish why cooperation is preferable. Your opinion appears most clearly at the end, rather than being maintained throughout. Develop fewer points with specific reasoning or examples, and explain more directly how cooperation can achieve shared goals while still allowing people to improve.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a concluding opinion. Connectors such as “As a result,” “Furthermore,” and “Consequently” help signal relationships between ideas. However, some links are mechanical or do not clearly express the logic—for instance, the move from competition keeping people busy to lower crime is not sufficiently explained. The second body paragraph also shifts from cooperation and harmony to threats against famous people, making its progression less clear. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then arrange supporting explanations and examples in a clear sequence. Ensure pronouns such as “they” have an unmistakable reference.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “efficient,” “innovation,” “harmony,” “verbal abuse,” and “dominant,” which helps communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning less clear. “Corporate culture” does not express the general idea of cooperation, and “corporation between the people” is also an incorrect choice for this meaning. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “reudced,” “neccessary,” and “stronlgy.” Aim for precise, natural combinations such as “cooperation in the workplace” and “reduce crime,” and proofread carefully for spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional forms and clauses introduced by “because” and “which.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors recur in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries. For example, “competition would also allows” has an incorrect verb form, while “if they will not compete” does not use the appropriate conditional structure. In “the business man.who,” the full stop incorrectly separates the relative clause from the sentence. These problems can make some relationships difficult to follow. Practise forming accurate conditional sentences and checking subject–verb agreement, then review punctuation so clauses are joined correctly. Clearer, shorter sentences will help you control accuracy while developing range.

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