Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Several individuals agree that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing and on other side some people argue that we should try to cooperate more as compared to competing against other individuals. According to my opinion, we wants to make a competition at students to work people because workers want to read and gain knowledge and make a good person in future.

To commence with, there are many opportunities to earn money but the good way to earn money with the help of honesty and integrity and it gain with the help of study. To elaborate it, we should make a competition between the students and workers because if we read books and consume the information and knowledge and then we make a good person and earn a good money with high protocol. For instance, there is considerable debates over whether university education should be funded by the government or whether students should be responsible for covering their own tution fees. Thus, the individual wants to make a difficult chalenges for students and educators should acheived the challenges and then make a good person in future.

Furthermore, other people argued that the comperate more rather than competing against each other. To explicate it, the other individuals think that the people should to help each other and stay away in every situations. For example, individuals think that the peole wants to help with other and needy people. Sometime, we cross the road and trafffic flow steadily increased and the old man face many difficulties for cross the road and he need help and we wants to help the old man and other individuals like poor people and needy people. Hence, some individuals think good and i agree these things but study is important in your life and focus on our study.

Conclusion, certain individuals think the cpmetitions at work, at school but other people think that we should try to cooperate more and competing between others and student should comperate with student and gain good marks with other students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to discuss both competition and cooperation, and it gives a personal view that study and competition matter. However, the position is difficult to identify precisely: the opening says competition should be made “at students to work people,” while the conclusion shifts to students cooperating and gaining marks. The competition paragraph focuses largely on earning money, studying and university tuition fees, rather than explaining how competition benefits people at work, school or in daily life. The cooperation example about helping an older person cross the road is relevant, but it is not developed into a clear explanation of cooperation’s wider value. To strengthen the response, state a consistent opinion and support each side with directly relevant, clearly explained examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To commence with,” “Furthermore” and “For example” show an effort to guide the reader. However, ideas are not arranged coherently enough: the first body paragraph moves from earning money to studying, then to university tuition fees and challenges, without clear links between these points. The conclusion repeats the topic but does not resolve the unclear position. Some connections are also difficult to follow, as in “stay away in every situations,” and repeated references to “individuals” and “people” do not clarify who is being discussed. Build each paragraph around one main point and use clear links to show how each example supports it.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “competition,” “cooperate,” “honesty and integrity,” “knowledge” and “challenges.” It also attempts more formal expressions such as “To elaborate it” and “To explicate it.” However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several inaccurate choices make meaning unclear. For example, “high protocol” does not express a clear benefit of education, while “stay away” appears to be intended to mean helping or supporting others. Spelling errors such as “tution,” “acheived,” “peole” and “trafffic” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural collocations and avoid inserting phrases that do not clearly support the point being made.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and uses clauses with “because,” “if” and “when,” but control is inconsistent and many sentences contain errors that can obscure meaning. Examples include “we wants to make,” “the people should to help,” and “the old man face many difficulties,” where subject–verb agreement or verb patterns are incorrect. Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “a good money” and the run-on sequence beginning “if we read books and consume the information.” Most structures rely on simple statements or repeated “and” links, so the range remains limited. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then add subordinate clauses while checking agreement, verb forms and punctuation.

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