Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that competition among students and employees working in the same organisation is a positive thing. Others share a different mindset, supporting cooperation rather than competition with each other. This essay will discuss both viewpoints to reach a fair conclusion.

Indian parents, because of the fierce competition across the country for jobs, have made their minds more competitive. Students are pressured by their guardians to perform well in academics. Mainly, all teenagers studying at educational institutes face competition, and it's a good sign for some students, as they would be motivated throughout the period. For instance, people studying at prestigious organisations score higher because of the competitive environment, which supports and helps them secure good marks in examinations, leading to a successful career in the near future.

Conversely, some students are not able to handle the pressure, and they feel demotivated and worthless because of the poor marks they scored in the exams. In worst-case scenarios, individuals even commit suicide because of the sheer pressure and dissatisfied peers. To exemplify, when giving entrance exams or any advanced-level exams such as NEET and JEE, students often end their lives due to the high expectations and poor results even after months of strategic study.

To conclude, even though working in a fierce environment may result in higher scores and more productive work for employees, it totally depends upon one's willpower and inner strength to be able to take up challenges and work better. In some cases, the situation may be otherwise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the topic by explaining how competition can motivate students and how pressure can harm others, and it gives relevant examples such as entrance examinations. However, the task asks for both competition and cooperation, while the essay develops competition and its risks but does not explain the benefits of cooperation. The conclusion also does not clearly state whether you believe people should compete or cooperate more; “it totally depends upon one's willpower” leaves your position uncertain. Several claims, including that students at prestigious institutions score higher because of competition, need clearer explanation or support. To strengthen the response, discuss a specific advantage of cooperation, compare the two approaches, and state a consistent opinion supported by developed reasons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the contrast marker “Conversely” helps signal a shift from benefits to harms. The ideas within each paragraph are generally understandable, but the overall progression is incomplete because the second body paragraph discusses the negative effects of competition rather than the opposing view of cooperation. As a result, the discussion does not fully connect to the task’s two sides. Some links between claims could also be clearer: the move from competitive pressure to suicide is abrupt, and the conclusion introduces employees without developing that example earlier. Organise the body around one paragraph for each view, then use the conclusion to bring them together and state your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “fierce competition,” “competitive environment,” “demotivated,” and “high expectations.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and some less common expressions show an attempt to be precise. However, a few phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “prestigious organisations” for educational institutions and “dissatisfied peers,” which does not clearly describe the pressure being discussed. “Made their minds more competitive” is also an unnatural collocation. Aim for more natural combinations and precise wording, especially when describing causes and effects. Your vocabulary communicates the argument, but more consistent control of collocation would make it sound more fluent and academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “because of the fierce competition across the country for jobs” and the conditional construction “even though working in a fierce environment may result…”. Most sentences are understandable, and grammatical errors rarely obstruct the message. There are, however, some awkward constructions and punctuation choices. For example, “In worst-case scenarios” would normally take an article (“In the worst-case scenarios”), while the long sentence beginning “For instance, people studying…” would benefit from clearer clause structure. The final sentence, “In some cases, the situation may be otherwise,” is grammatically possible but vague. Continue using varied structures, while checking articles and making long sentences easier to follow.

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