Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are differing opinions about competition at work, at school, and in daily life is a good thing. While some people believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other, I am of the opinion that it is necessary that events are very significant for individuals enhance their skills. This essay will delve deep into its both notions in its forthcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand, supporters of this view argue that events and competition at work, at school and in daily life is a better thing. The predominant one is, assignments in schools and work enhance mental ability and practical skills. it helps individuals in future when they face some challenges in their lives. it also enhance communication skills that help individuals to find employment and jobs easiy. competitions build inner confidence of people when they work in different situations. while it also help in growth of economic by employement.

On the other hand, many people believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather tahn competing against each other. the first and foremost is, individuals should more aware about their work and hobbies that helps them to mantain work-life-balance,while stop wasting time on social media and other platforms. people should have to take significant decisions in their lives that helps them in the future, people may against to innocent people through competition it may causes dangerous fights and some illegal activities.

In conclusion, although both sides have vaild points, I believe that their are so many advantageous of competition like it enchance people mental ability and practical knowledge. And help people to build inner confidence rather than wasting time in social media.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to discuss both competition and cooperation and gives a clear preference for competition in the introduction and conclusion. It also offers relevant points, such as developing skills and confidence, and the risk that competition may lead to conflict. However, the discussion is only minimally developed: the cooperation paragraph focuses largely on work-life balance and social media rather than explaining how cooperation benefits people. The claim that competition supports economic growth is also not explained. The response contains 232 words, so it is 18 words below the 250-word minimum; 47 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each side with a clear reason and a specific example, and explain how these points support your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers identify the sections. However, progression within paragraphs is weak: several points are placed together without clear explanation of how they connect, particularly the shift from cooperation to avoiding social media. Linking words are sometimes repetitive or awkward, and references such as “this view” and “it” do not always make the intended idea clear. To improve, organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “competition,” “cooperate,” “communication skills,” and “work-life balance,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “events are very significant,” “enhance mental ability,” and “people may against to innocent people.” Spelling errors, including “easiy,” “employement,” and “vaild,” also reduce accuracy. Some words are repeated frequently, especially “people,” “competition,” and “help.” Build a more precise range for discussing benefits and drawbacks, and check collocations and spelling; for example, use “develop practical skills” rather than “enhance practical skills” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts at complex sentences, including the opening contrast beginning “While some people believe…” and the concluding “although” clause. However, control is inconsistent, and frequent errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, the opening sentence combines two structures incorrectly (“There are differing opinions about … is a good thing”), while “it also enhance communication skills” has a subject–verb agreement error. Several sentences are fragments or run-ons, such as “it helps individuals in future…” after a full stop with a lowercase opening, and the long sequence of claims in the cooperation paragraph. Practise accurate sentence boundaries, agreement, and complete clauses, then use a wider range of structures only when you can control them.

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