Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays competition is very significant in filed of life. Few individuals think like that competition at school, at work and in daily life is a good thing. Others think we should need to be gentle isntead of becoming rivals of each other. In this eassy I will highlight both views and give my opion also.

To begin with, Competition is very crucial in every field of life. Individuals become more hard working when they are in competiton. Let's we just about school competition students become more focused and more faithfull and more courageous when they are in competition and they will trying their best to win from other competitors.

In 2010 the university of camberriage issued servay about 90% of the students when they were in competition they did more better and it impacts on their result and automatically the results were enhanced. By the competiton we can become more jealous person and we have rage about other person in other heart.

Now , we talk about those people whose think we should need to become comperative and become gentle and kind. Without competiton we don't have any path and mission. But individuals mostly said this because this thing can create a rage and jealous in person's mind for other person. By this toxic environment will create.

From my perspective, by the competiton peacefull destroyed and people against more other. We should be more gentle and kind. However, peacefull and pleasant environment create. To win every competition individuals cross all limits the probability of increasing coruption by this. Perhaps the crime rate will

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the discussion and state a preference for kindness and peace, so the response is relevant to the prompt. The school example and the claim that competition can encourage effort show an attempt to support the benefits of competition. However, the position is not consistently clear: you first say competition is crucial and later argue that it destroys peace, without explaining how you weigh these views. The opposing view is also only briefly developed, and the Cambridge survey is presented without enough detail to make it convincing. The final sentence, “Perhaps the crime rate will,” is unfinished, leaving an important point incomplete. Develop each view with a clear reason and a specific, explained example, then state your position consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to the benefits of competition, then concerns about it, and finally your opinion. Phrases such as “To begin with” and “From my perspective” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the discussion of competition’s benefits shifts abruptly to jealousy, and the paragraph beginning “Now, we talk about” repeats earlier points rather than developing a distinct argument. Linking expressions are sometimes inaccurate or mechanical, and references such as “this thing” do not clearly identify the idea being discussed. The unfinished final sentence also disrupts the ending. Organise each paragraph around one main point and use clear links to show how examples support it.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “competition,” “competitors,” “focused,” “jealous,” and “crime rate,” which makes the subject identifiable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “competition” and “individuals.” Frequent spelling errors, including “filed,” “eassy,” “opion,” and “coruption,” reduce accuracy. Some word choices and collocations are unclear or unnatural, such as “become more jealous person,” “peacefull destroyed,” and “cross all limits.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing cooperation and competition, check spelling carefully, and learn common combinations such as “foster cooperation” and “create a hostile environment.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “when they are in competition,” and use some clauses to explain consequences. However, control is inconsistent, and many sentences contain errors that make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “Others think we should need to be gentle,” “they will trying their best,” and “the probability of increasing corruption by this.” Subject–verb agreement and sentence construction are also problematic in “those people whose think” and “However, peacefull and pleasant environment create.” Punctuation and capitalisation are uneven, and the final sentence is incomplete. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check verb forms and agreement before adding longer clauses.

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