Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays lot of individual believe that competition at work , at school and in all of days in life is a good thing , and others argue that we should try to cooperate a lot , rather than competition against each other. As well as this essay will discuss why some people argue that competition at work at primary level in daily life and others why do not compitition with each other in daily life.

First and foremost , some people argue competition at work , the main advantage of competition in primary level in daily children learn a lot of things day by day . However when they work at competition level where they work , and when they work with friends and class fellow they work hard . For example they prepare work daily , and they prepare work at home when they go to competition work and they sucess . Furthermore when children fail first time and they struggle seconed time .

As well as others argue that should try to cooperate more , than working with against with each others at compitition level the main disadvantage of this essay when students fail first time and seconed time and third time they fail again and again they do not struggle . For example fail again and again at the end the result they do not struggle .

In order to a recapitulate , In my opinion competition level work is good for all time and for all levels and for all ages worker . However they work hard than others and they prepare to compitition . At least but not last when they work hard they won prizes. At the end of for example when they working a lot and the final result they have go his own ideas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You attempt to discuss both competition and cooperation, and your final paragraph gives a clear preference for competition, supported by the idea that people work hard and may win prizes. However, the discussion is only minimally developed. The competition paragraph focuses mainly on children and school, while the cooperation paragraph does not explain the benefits of cooperation; instead, it repeats that students may fail and stop trying. The opening also says the essay will discuss both views but does not establish a clear position until the conclusion. Develop each side with a relevant reason and a specific example, and explain how cooperation can help people achieve shared goals. The response contains 8 words copied from the task prompt, which were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of the essay’s intended organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow, and several linking expressions are used mechanically or inaccurately. For example, “As well as” begins both the introduction and the cooperation paragraph without clearly showing the relationship between ideas, while “In order to a recapitulate” does not form a clear transition. The repeated references to failing and struggling also make the argument circular. Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph, then connect each reason to an explanation or example; use fewer, more precise transitions and make references such as “they” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with recurring words such as “competition,” “work,” “fail,” and “struggle.” Some phrases communicate the general topic, including “work hard” and “win prizes,” but several word choices or combinations make the intended meaning unclear, such as “competition work,” “at competition level,” and “they have go his own ideas.” There are also spelling errors, including “compitition,” “sucess,” and “seconed,” which reduce accuracy. To improve, learn topic-specific expressions and use them in natural combinations—for example, language for shared goals, motivation, and teamwork. Check spelling and choose precise phrases that express the point you intend, rather than repeating the same general vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic connectors such as “when,” “however,” and “for example,” but sentence structures are limited and errors occur frequently. The opening has problems with articles and agreement (“Nowadays lot of individual believe”), and the phrase “others argue that should try” lacks a clear subject. Verb forms and sentence construction are also unreliable in examples such as “when they working a lot” and “they have go his own ideas.” Punctuation spacing and comma use further affect readability. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clauses using “because,” “although,” or “when.” Check that every sentence has a subject and a correctly formed verb, and review articles and singular/plural agreement.

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