Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people believe that competing in every aspect of life, such as work, school, and day-to-day life is a good practice, while others think that helping others is the best way instead of competing with each other. I fully agreed with the second statement.

In this competitive world, everyone wants to be better than others. Therefore, rivalry with other companion is a very natural human behaviour. It is very ovbious thatn graduating from educational institution with distinction will help secure a decent job, and better contribution in workplace than colleagues will help secure promotion and financial benefits. As a result, to ensure success at every stage of life competition is a mandatory human instinct.

While competition is a very natural thing in life, we should cooperate each other as a social being. I strongly believe that helping others is the only way to ensure the betterment of our society for present as well as for the future generation. By helping our frineds in school, our neighbours, and our colleagues at work create a chance to learn something new from them as well in return. In a recent study on Japanese education model shows that, the students are better than most of the students of American schools in math as they practiced cooperation based education. The students are encouraged to help their weaker companion that helps them to sharpren their ability as well as the weaker strengthen their lackings.

Competition can make a particular person to become susseccful while cooperation can ensure long term benefits for the society..

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the discussion and state a clear preference for cooperation in the introduction. The points about competition helping people gain qualifications, promotions and financial benefits explain why it can be useful, while the social benefits of helping others support your own view. However, the discussion is not fully developed: the competition paragraph mainly lists outcomes, and the Japanese education example is presented as a study without enough explanation or detail to show how it proves the wider claim. The conclusion gives a useful contrast between individual success and society’s long-term benefit, but it would be stronger if it restated your position directly. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation and a specific, well-supported example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on competition, a paragraph on cooperation, and a concluding contrast. Transitions such as “Therefore,” “As a result,” and “While” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. The move from rivalry being natural to competition being “mandatory” is asserted rather than logically established, and the education example needs a clearer link to the claim about cooperation. Some connections are also awkward, particularly “By helping … create a chance,” which makes the sentence’s subject difficult to follow. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then connect explanations and examples explicitly. A complete, direct concluding sentence would also make the overall progression feel more finished.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “rivalry,” “distinction,” “promotion,” “cooperation,” and “betterment,” and you attempt some less common expressions. However, the range is uneven, and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the argument less clear. For example, “other companion” and “weaker companion” do not express the intended idea naturally, while “sharpren their ability” and “lackings” are unclear. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “ovbious,” “frineds,” and “susseccful.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than more elaborate wording: for instance, use “colleagues” or “classmates” where appropriate, and describe students as “improving their skills” or “addressing gaps in their knowledge.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a contrast clause beginning “While competition is a very natural thing in life” and a sentence explaining the benefits of cooperation. However, errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. In “I fully agreed,” the verb form does not fit the present opinion; “rivalry with other companion is” has a number-agreement problem; and “By helping … create a chance” lacks a clear grammatical subject. The sentence beginning “In a recent study … shows” also has an awkward clause structure. Work on subject–verb agreement, articles and plurals, and ensure each sentence has a clear subject and main verb. Breaking long sentences into shorter, controlled units will help you express complex ideas more accurately.

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