Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Competition is essential in various sectors in our daily life. Sometimes extreme competition brings various disadvantages. It is better to compete with each other in a healthy way.

Firstly, I want to illustrate the advantages of competition such as competition makes people more conscious about their duty and makes them more potential to achieve their goals. At working place, people want to compete with the other colleagues to establish their position at a higher rank so that workers can get their desired promostion. In addition to students always try to get better marks than the others. If the students complete with their classmates in a healthy way, then it will develop more dedication inside them. This dedication will assist them to insure their achievements in future.

In contrast, there are plently of disadvantages of competition. If people compete with the others in a extreme mood, then this will create conflicts among them. Particularly humans become selfies to secure their goals such as in working place works create false allegation for the other colleagues to insure their promotion. Besides students become less productive in personal life. If students think about competing with the others for their achievements, it will create them drepressed and they will feel loneliness.

In conclusion, I want to illustrate that healthy competetion plays a vital role in humans life. In the other hand extreme completition i

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You present a relevant position: healthy competition can be beneficial, while excessive competition can cause harm. The response also gives examples from work and school, such as seeking promotion and students aiming for better marks. However, the task asks you to discuss both competition and cooperation, and cooperation is not meaningfully explained; the essay focuses instead on healthy versus extreme competition. Several points are asserted rather than developed, and the conclusion is cut off after “extreme completition i,” so your final view is incomplete. The response is also 21 words below the required minimum. To improve, explain the benefits of cooperation, support each main point with a clearer example, and finish with a complete conclusion that directly answers the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and an attempted conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “In contrast,” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression is limited because the essay does not develop the cooperation side of the question, and some links are inaccurate or unclear—for example, “Besides students become less productive in personal life” does not clearly connect to the preceding point. Repeated use of “competition” and “the others” also makes the flow mechanical. The unfinished final sentence disrupts the ending. Organise the body around the two views, use clearer references between ideas, and ensure each paragraph leads logically to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “colleagues,” “promotion,” “dedication,” and “conflicts.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “secure their goals.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “complete with their classmates” where you mean compete, “selfies” for selfish, “plently,” and “promostion.” Some phrases are unnatural, such as “in an extreme mood” and “insure their achievements.” Build a more accurate set of expressions for competition and cooperation, and check spelling and word forms carefully. For instance, use “intense competition” and “ensure their success” in the relevant contexts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If people compete… then this will create conflicts” and a clause beginning “If students think about competing…”. This shows some range, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “At working place” lacks an appropriate article and preposition, while “people want to compete… so that workers can get” shifts awkwardly between subjects. There are also problems with agreement and sentence construction in “this will create them drepressed” and “students become less productive in personal life.” Practise building accurate sentences with one clear subject and verb, and check articles, agreement, and clause structure before adding complex clauses.

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