Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Few individuals think competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing and other people believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against. However, in my point of view we should go competition any where like at work, at school and daily life because it beneficaly for you life and you be a success one day.

On the one hand, most important thing is donot be a loose ni your life and any where take competition we are loose than nothing happpend but we should learn about this and after that next time fight. It is significant take competition in a daily life since, it help be a strong and comfident. Forexample, people take competition about work, school and daily life than people learn more thing and they do hardwork and they be activite and one day they be success. competition is a part of life and comman thing. Moreover, they are become strong in emotional and physicaly, they can face any problem in there life.

On the other hand, i like to told about how believe that we should try to cooperate, this is a wrong way because when they cooperate daily it is not good for them do not be a alfed fight comfidently one day definitely they are wine.

They are look back than thay can not face any kind of problem and they are not be success in there life.

conclusion, few individual believe that we should try to cooperate this ia a wrong way. In my opinion, people should take any kind of thing like at work, at school and daily life becasue when they are learn about personal grow and they can face any kind of problem. Although, it is very improtant do competition for any thing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear preference for competition in the introduction and conclusion, and you give relevant reasons, such as learning from failure and becoming more confident. However, the discussion of cooperation is not adequately explained: calling it “a wrong way” and saying people who cooperate cannot face problems does not fairly describe why others value it. The competition points are also repeated rather than developed with a specific example or explanation of how competition leads to success. As a result, the response addresses the topic but only partially develops both views. To strengthen it, explain a genuine benefit of cooperation, then support your opinion with a concrete example and a clearer chain of reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has an introduction, separate paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its basic structure. However, ideas within paragraphs are not arranged in a consistently clear progression. The first body paragraph moves from losing, to learning, to confidence, then to physical and emotional strength without clearly connecting these points. The cooperation paragraph is brief and its reasoning is difficult to follow. Linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “Although” are attempted, but some do not show a clear relationship between ideas. Improve cohesion by giving each paragraph one main point, explaining it in sequence, and using references and connectors only where their meaning is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “competition,” “cooperate,” “success,” and “emotional and physical,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is basic and several word choices or collocations make the meaning unclear, such as “go competition,” “take competition,” and “be a loose.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “comfident,” “activite,” and “beneficaly,” also reduce accuracy. Repetition of “competition,” “life,” and “success” limits variety. Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing advantages and disadvantages, and check spelling and collocations. For example, use “compete” or “take part in competition” rather than “take competition,” and “lose” rather than “be a loose.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, for example, “since, it help be a strong and comfident.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but sentence structures are very limited and errors occur frequently, sometimes making the intended meaning hard to follow. Examples include “we should go competition,” “it help,” “they are become strong,” and “they can not face any kind of problem.” There are also problems with articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate basic clauses first, then combine them with clear structures such as “because” and “although.” For instance: “Competition can help people become more confident because it encourages them to learn from setbacks.”

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