Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Competition is just like a race where evryone tries to move forward and forward. In this regard, there are two popular prevailing nations. While some people claims that competition at work or at school and in our practical life is a good thing other believes that istead of competing against each other, we should tried to cooperate with our fellows. I tend to argue on both schools of thought and give my own opinion. At the first place, it is generally seen that it is a best way to spend your daily life by competiting with each other at any level you are whether it is your practical life or school life. For example, there are some kind of people in the society who prefers to do the same things which others do. There are some kind of insecurities in them which always invoke themselves to interrupt in other people lives. Therefore, this feeling just make them to do something new and they started to compete their colleagues or any class fellow or any member of society. This thing urge them to do something which will be very beneficial for their future also. Thus, it is pertinent to say that competition is also very important for some kind of people. On the other hand, who oppose the first notion, also posses some logical viewpoints to get them aSecondly, they do not believe in competitions. Moreover, they also stress on a point that this types of things are like unnecessary drama. Instead of competition with each other, they always try to cooperate more. However, it is worth saying that this type of people possess a different kind of personality because not eveyone have guts to see someone moving forward from them. In a nutshell, after considering all the above mentioned arguements, we can reach to a logical conclusion that competition also plays an crucial role in a society. There are also some kind of people who just became ladder for others to help them to move forward.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response recognises both sides of the question and gives a concluding preference for competition, so it is not wholly one-sided. However, the discussion only partially addresses the task: the case for competition is mainly explained through people’s insecurities and desire to imitate others, rather than clear benefits such as motivation or improved performance. The cooperation view is even less developed; it is described as a personality trait, with little explanation of how cooperation helps people or society. The conclusion that some people “became ladder for others” is also unclear and does not fully clarify your position. To strengthen the response, explain each view with a relevant example and state your own opinion clearly from the introduction onward.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, two contrasting sections and a conclusion, and signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In a nutshell” help indicate the intended structure. However, ideas do not progress clearly within the paragraphs. The first section moves from competition to insecurity and then to future benefits without explaining the links, while the cooperation section begins with the confusing phrase “get them aSecondly,” which interrupts the flow. Several transitions are mechanical, and references such as “this type of people” do not always make the intended meaning clear. Use one focused paragraph for each view, develop its main point in a logical sequence, and ensure each linking phrase accurately connects the ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response attempts a range of topic-related and formal expressions, including “cooperate,” “logical viewpoints,” “pertinent,” and “plays an crucial role.” These show an effort to move beyond very basic vocabulary. However, the range is limited by repeated general phrases such as “some kind of people” and “this type of people,” and several choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “popular prevailing nations,” “compete their colleagues,” and “became ladder for others.” Spelling errors such as “evryone,” “istead,” and “eveynone” also reduce control. Aim for precise, natural phrases that express the intended idea, such as “compete with colleagues” or “support others’ progress,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, using clauses introduced by “while,” “because,” and “who,” as well as a concluding sentence. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “some people claims,” “other believes,” “we should tried,” and “this feeling just make them,” where subject–verb agreement or verb forms are incorrect. There are also problems with articles and sentence construction, as in “it is a best way” and “not everyone have guts.” The sentence containing “get them aSecondly” is structurally broken. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea and check agreement, verb forms, and articles before adding extra clauses.

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