Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued that competition is a healthy thing for the overall development of human beings, while a group of individuals criticized it and suggest cooperation is good practice among people. This essay will discuss both the sides of arguments before giving my own view on this notion.

Supporters of competition argue that it is a key to become productive whether at school, workplace or daily life. This is because competitive environments can bring discpline among people to strive for more work, which can lead them to go above and beyond from their peers. Examples can be seen in businessmen who often competes with other personalities to become better businessmen and more wealthy. Second advatage of compitition is that it may helps to achieve goals. Some people, for instance, tends to work so hard to beat their rivals, resulting in goal achievement in short-span of time.

However, competition sometimes might lead to consequences that are negative for society. If human beings were to start competing with the people around them to demonstrate their wealthy lifestyle, they would significantly spend a huge amount of money in purchasing unnecessary products and services, which traps them in debt burden. For example, people buy expensive mobiles, watches and cars on EMIs and unable to pay due to high insterest rates.

To conclude, competition is a healthy for overall developemts of human beings as it helps to become productive and acheive goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You introduce the topic and give relevant points about competition, including motivation to work harder and the risk of spending to keep up with others. However, the task asks you to discuss both competition and cooperation and state your opinion. The response develops competition but does not explain the benefits of cooperation, and your conclusion repeats support for competition without making a clear comparison or addressing the other view. The examples are relevant but brief, such as people buying expensive items on instalments; the supporting explanation needs more detail. The response is also 13 words below the required minimum. To improve, add a developed paragraph explaining how cooperation helps people achieve shared goals, then state your position clearly in relation to both views.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting competition, a paragraph describing a possible disadvantage, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “This is because,” “For example,” and “To conclude” help show the relationship between points. However, the progression does not fully match the task: the paragraph beginning “However” presents a drawback of competition rather than the requested case for cooperation. The introduction promises to discuss both sides, but that progression is not completed. Some connections are also awkward or repetitive, including the repeated focus on competition and goals. Organise the body around the two views, use clear topic sentences, and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “competitive environments,” “rivals,” “productive,” and “debt burden,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at less common phrasing, such as “go above and beyond,” though some combinations are unnatural or imprecise: “a key to become productive,” “more wealthy,” and “on EMIs.” Spelling errors such as “discpline,” “advatage,” “compitition,” and “developemts” are noticeable and reduce accuracy. Some wording is repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “competition” and “goals.” Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe competition as “a key to becoming more productive” and purchases as being “made on instalment plans.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure: “If human beings were to start competing … they would significantly spend…”. This shows some range, and the main ideas can usually be followed. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction recur. For example, “a group of individuals … suggest” should use a consistent subject–verb form, while “businessmen who often competes” and “it may helps” contain agreement or verb-form errors. “Some people … tends” has the same issue, and the final sentence, “competition is a healthy,” is grammatically incomplete. Practise checking each sentence for its subject and verb, and revise article use and sentence endings. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas clearer.

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