Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Competition has been a part of human nature since their birth. People compete all their life to become better from others. However, people in the past compete with each other for the food, shelter and life and the fittest survived and received all the benefits. Nowadays, sense of competition has both positive effects for example in terms of growth and negative effects such as in society and on people's own health. In this essay i will elaborate both effects in details.
First of all, it is widely believed that healthy sense of competition is beneficial for the growth of people at and children at school. For instance, at a school level when children compete in academics it not only push that work hard and study more but it also help them to grow academically. Success of one student prove the other talented student to burn mid night oil and achieve the same grades . In this way . healthy competition results in success of both students.
Another example of this is a healthy competition among colleagues at work space. When one employ work hard and perform his services effeciently he get promote, promotion of one colleague ignite sense of healthy competition in other colleagues which push them work relentlessly which in turn becomes the source of their success.
Opposite to this, a large number of people believe that competition is not healthy for everyone. Instead everyone should help each other to accelerate in their life. To elaborate, people think that everyone has their own pace and this sense of competition add jealousy among people and they started hating each other as a result of this, work space can become toxic and very difficult to tolerate.
Furthermore, this sense of competition, put people in constant pressure and in a cycle of ungratefulness which in result of health issues. For instance, large number of people has become anxiety patient along with depression due constant comparison and at the end it leads to suicidal attempts.
To conclude, competition help people grow academically and financially if it is used in a positive manner and could also cause detremental effects on health and ultimately leads to suicide if not taken properly. In my perspective, healthy competition should be promoted but we should teach people the difference of healthy and unhealthy competition.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
You discuss both sides of the question and give a clear personal view in the conclusion: you support healthy competition while recognising its possible harm. The school and workplace examples make the benefits relevant, and the discussion of jealousy, pressure and mental health addresses the case for cooperation. This meets the task well overall. However, cooperation itself is not explored in much detail: the essay mainly describes the harms of competition rather than explaining how people working together could improve outcomes. Some claims, particularly the link between competition and suicide, are also asserted without enough explanation or support. Develop this side with a specific example of cooperation and explain how it benefits people or organisations.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion that restates your position. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Another example,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the main stages. The overall progression is clear, though some linking is mechanical and a few connections are awkward. For example, “Opposite to this” signals contrast, but the paragraph would connect more smoothly if it explicitly shifted from competition’s benefits to the value of cooperation. Punctuation around “In this way” and repeated spaces also interrupt flow. Use transitions selectively and make the relationship between each example and the main claim explicit.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “healthy competition,” “academically,” “jealousy,” “constant pressure,” and “toxic,” which lets you discuss both benefits and risks. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “burn midnight oil.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “become better from others,” “at work space,” “ignite sense,” and “anxiety patient.” Spelling errors such as “effeciently” and “detremental” also reduce precision. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but they limit flexibility and naturalness. Focus on accurate collocations and check spelling, especially in key topic phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “when,” “which,” and “as a result,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction remain noticeable. For example, “people in the past compete” needs past-tense agreement, while “it not only push” and “he get promote” have subject–verb and verb-form errors. In “Success of one student prove,” the subject and verb do not agree, and the sentence beginning “Furthermore” has an unclear grammatical structure. Capitalisation of “i” and inconsistent punctuation also affect accuracy. Practise checking each sentence’s subject and verb, and revise complex sentences to ensure their clauses are complete.
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