Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Over recent years competition at work, at school and in daily life has become a hotly debated issue in our society. This matter is particularly significant due to its impact on our society, influencing both individuals and communities. While some people argue that we should try to coporate more rather then competing against each other.I firmly beleive that we should reduce the percentage of competition between each other. In this essay, I will presen the reasons supporting my viewpoint and address potential counterarguments.

Some people believe that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing becuase it leads us and force us to improvoice ourselfs. For instance, If a student at school which is a hardworking student will get a scholarship for its good result,Although by watching him other students will also get motivation and they will try to perform better so they can aslo get a scholarship.

One of the main reason I support competition everywhere is that this help us to improve and do better next time.This is evident from job employs that the best worker with best performance gets a promotion and seeing this will force other employees to perform better for next time.Various studies and real-life examples have shown that competition often leads to improvement in any field of life and for upcoming future.

In conclusion , I believe that competition in different fields clearly supports to enhance our selfs for next time, primarily due to improvement for better oppurtunities.Moving forward, it is essential to recognize the advantages of this viewpoint and apply it in ways that foster positive outcomes for both individualsa and society as a whole.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear preference for reducing competition, and you give relevant examples involving scholarships and workplace promotions. However, the task asks you to discuss both competition and cooperation, and the response mainly explains why competition can improve performance before concluding in its favour. Cooperation is mentioned only briefly in the introduction, so one side of the discussion is largely missing and your position is not consistently supported. The examples are also asserted rather than fully explained: clarify how a scholarship motivates other students, and connect this to your own view. To strengthen the response, give cooperation its own developed paragraph and explain why you believe it should be preferred or balanced with competition.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the examples generally relate to the topic. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the introduction says you favour less competition, while the body and conclusion argue that competition improves people. The paragraph beginning “Some people believe” presents the opposing view, but the next paragraph also supports competition without clearly explaining how it relates to your position. Linking phrases such as “For instance” and “In conclusion” help signal stages, but some connections are mechanical or unclear. Organise the essay around the two requested views, use clear topic sentences, and make each paragraph’s relationship to your opinion explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “competition,” “scholarship,” “promotion,” and “performance,” and phrases such as “positive outcomes” show an attempt to express broader ideas. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, for example “coporate,” “improvoice,” “ourselfs,” and “oppurtunities.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “reduce the percentage of competition” and “job employs.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary for cooperation—such as “collaborate,” “share expertise,” and “work towards a common goal”—would also help you address the full topic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a conditional idea about students receiving scholarships and a concluding sentence with “primarily due to.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and punctuation occur frequently enough to make some ideas difficult to follow. For example, “While some people argue … each other.I firmly…” leaves a dependent clause unfinished, while “One of the main reason … this help us” has agreement errors. The scholarship example also runs several clauses together without clear punctuation. Practise building one complete main clause at a time, then add subordinate clauses with accurate punctuation and check subject–verb agreement.

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