Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Many people think that it is essential to have competition in every aspect of life, while others are of opinion that cooperation and understanding is important in life. While competition encourage hardwork and perfection, it can also lead to burnout and mental dissatisfaction. I believe that healthy competition is beneficial to flourish the personal as well as professional life.
On the one hand, a healthy competition encourages individiual to stay focused on the goal and putting on efforts to achieve it. For instance, someone aiming for the promotion have only one goal in their mind and work hard to achieve it. Furthermore, Competition often result into better career opportunity and significant rise in pay. It can provide financial security as well as exposure in a corporate world.
On the other hand, competition can place a significant burden on the individuals. Competing in every aspect of life can lead to burnout and significantly affect the physical health. In addition, it causes severe mental distress and dissatisfaction with outcome. Blurred boundry in personal and professional setting can affect the professional as well as personal relationships. To give an example, competitiors are collegue at the end of the day, creating a hostile enviornment at work due to it can affect the productivity.
In conclusion, i largely believe that, although it can have severe mental health and physical health issues and affect the relationship and partnership, a healthy boundry to separate comeptition and personal life and also it offers better career advancements which can be significant in providing financial security.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You discuss both sides and state a position: competition can motivate achievement, but excessive competition may harm health and relationships, while “healthy competition” can support personal and professional growth. These points are relevant, but the response does not fully develop the cooperation side of the question. Cooperation is mentioned in the introduction, yet the body mainly explains the disadvantages of competition rather than showing how cooperation benefits people or when it is preferable. Some supporting claims, such as competition leading to better career opportunities and higher pay, also need clearer explanation or a specific example. To strengthen the response, explain the value of cooperation directly and make your final position more precise about when competition is beneficial and when cooperation should take priority.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This makes the main contrast easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “In addition,” and “For instance” help connect supporting points, although the progression within paragraphs is sometimes less clear: the first body paragraph moves from focus and effort to promotion, pay, and financial security without fully explaining the links. The conclusion also combines several ideas in a long sentence, making the final position harder to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and develop each paragraph around one central point; ensure that references such as “due to it” clearly identify the cause.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “burnout,” “mental distress,” “financial security,” “hostile environment,” and “productivity.” These choices help communicate the effects of competition and show some ambition beyond basic vocabulary. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision, such as “mental dissatisfaction,” “result into,” and “blurred boundary in personal and professional setting.” There are also spelling errors, including “individiiual,” “boundry,” “competitiors,” and “enviornment.” These do not prevent understanding, but they make the writing less controlled. Check spelling carefully and learn common word partnerships, for example, “result in” and “blur the boundary between personal and professional life.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including the contrast clause “While competition…,” the conditional idea “Competing in every aspect of life can lead to…,” and a concluding “although” clause. The overall meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “competition encourage” needs subject–verb agreement, and “a healthy competition encourages individual” needs an appropriate article or plural form. In “someone aiming for the promotion have,” the verb does not agree with the subject. The final sentence is also difficult to control because several clauses and ideas are joined together, with punctuation that interrupts the structure. Practise checking agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, and divide long sentences when their relationships become unclear.
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