Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There is ongoing debate among individuals over whether competition is worth it in our daily at schools or work, however; I fully agree as healthy competition pushes individuals to step forward in life while creating more opportunities later in life and prepares them for practical life.

A competitve surrounding in educational institues and coorperate world provokes students and adults to perform better in life. Student hunger for good grades and a men starving for a promotion often comes from people you are surrounded by. For instance many schools organise different events for there students to show talent, and many of them take full advantage of that platform and showcase there talents while competing with others and this healthy environment of competition often push students to polish their talent and put more hardwork to shine more. Furthermore, a competition where students do not perform well or do not get desired grades helps them understand the harsh reality of life and teach them the lesson of patience.

Although, this all does not come without its cost. Jealousy and demotivation

is often associated with competitions as students feeling stressed and adult feeling insecure but it can be improved by organising events especially for students where they can learn how to perform and outclass everyone in major events. Various seminars can be arranged for adults guiding them the importance of healthy competiton for a better society as it push individual to be better than yesterday.

I am driven to conclusion that competitions are necessary for students and adults to shine and perform better, whereas demotivation and feeling of stress among individuals can be improved over time by arranging different events and seminars.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

Your position is clear: you support healthy competition, and you give relevant reasons such as encouraging people to improve and helping them face setbacks. The examples of school events and workplace promotion also connect to the topic. However, the task asks you to discuss both competition and cooperation, and cooperation is not meaningfully explained; the paragraph beginning “Although” focuses instead on the negative effects of competition and ways to address them. Several points, including how competition teaches patience and how seminars would help adults, are asserted rather than fully explained. To strengthen the response, present a distinct case for cooperation, compare its benefits with competition, and develop each main point with a clear explanation or specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, supporting paragraphs and a conclusion, and connectors such as “For instance,” “Furthermore” and “Although” help signal relationships. However, the progression is not consistently clear: the essay moves from the benefits of competition to its drawbacks, but never develops the cooperation side of the question. Some links are awkward or unclear, particularly “Although, this all does not come without its cost,” and the final paragraph largely repeats the position without bringing the discussion together. The long first paragraph also contains several ideas that would be easier to follow if separated. Use clearer topic sentences, organise each paragraph around one main point, and make the contrast between the two views explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “healthy competition,” “promotion,” “demotivation,” “insecure” and “harsh reality,” which helps communicate your ideas. There are also attempts at more specific expressions such as “showcase their talents” and “polish their talent.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, for example “competitve,” “institues,” “coorperate” and “competiton.” Some combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “Student hunger for good grades” and “shine more,” and “outclass everyone” sounds overly absolute in this context. Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, and choose vocabulary that expresses the intended meaning precisely rather than relying on broad or informal phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of sentence forms, including longer sentences with “while,” “as” and “whereas,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately. The opening sentence joins contrasting clauses with “however” incorrectly, and “A competition … helps them understand … and teach them” has faulty agreement and parallel structure. Other examples include “this healthy environment … often push” and “it push individual,” where subject–verb agreement is missing. There are also problems with articles and plurals, as in “a men” and “Student.” Review sentence boundaries and punctuation, then check that subjects and verbs agree and that coordinated verbs use matching forms. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to follow.

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