Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

, both Competition ammong the same people working togather in the same organization or at school is the other of the day in most schools and in most organizations today. Though, i agree and support a competitive work environment.

To begin with, competitive environment ammong the students at the same age group helps them to study hard as not to be left behind. it aneble's the to make out time for their studies instead of wasting time on social media or to other things that dose not contribute to their academic growth. Students who graduated from a competitive environment terndes to do well acardemicall than the those frome the other school who dosn't concider a competion as important.

Forthermore, in a work place where there is no competition, people will not be able to go out to improve themselves academically as to obtain a better position the the office. which would make them remain with the same position till retirement age.

In addition, competition is an instrument for growth, both academically and finacial aspect of life

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear preference for competition, stating that you “agree and support a competitive work environment,” and you offer relevant reasons about students working harder and employees seeking advancement. However, the task asks you to discuss both competition and cooperation, and the response does not explain the benefits of cooperation or compare the two views. Your supporting points are also brief: for example, the claim that competitive graduates “do well” is not illustrated or explained in detail, and the final point about growth is unfinished. The response is 176 words, below the required 250, which further limits how fully you can develop the discussion. Address both sides, explain your position, and add specific examples and a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening states your position, and paragraphs beginning “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “In addition” introduce supporting points. These markers help readers recognise that you are adding reasons. However, the ideas do not form a complete progression: the essay moves from school to work and then ends with a broad statement about growth, without a paragraph on cooperation or a concluding summary. Some links between sentences are unclear, and the final paragraph is only a fragment of an argument. Develop one main idea per paragraph, connect each reason to your position, and use a conclusion to bring the discussion together.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “competitive work environment,” “academic growth,” “position,” and “retirement age,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-form errors make the writing less clear, such as “ammong,” “togather,” “aneble's,” “terndes,” and “finacial.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, including “the other of the day” and “go out to improve themselves academically.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, and use vocabulary for both sides of the question, such as “collaboration,” “shared goals,” and “healthy competition.” Proofreading and choosing precise phrases would make your ideas easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer structures, including the opening clause beginning “Though” and the sentence explaining how competition may encourage students to study. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make several sentences difficult to interpret. For example, “it aneble's the to make out time” has an unclear subject and faulty verb construction; “Students who graduated … terndes to do well” has problems with tense and subject–verb agreement; and “which would make them remain” is an incomplete sentence. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in the lowercase “it” after a full stop and the comma-led opening. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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