Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Without any doubt, society is divided into two groups as per distinct mindset of different mindset of different people.Therefore,this has become a debateable issue whether race at job, at insitution and in everydays life is better thing while on the other hand it would be tried to work together more, rather than race against each other.This essay will not only shed light on both perceptions but also my point of view will be elaborated in the conclusion.

On the one hand, there could be several reasons why some people say that race at work, school and in everdays side is better.To begin with, first condition what i mean to say is that it is essential for indiviual to have a competator in life so ones can enjoy the real joy of life and try it best for better performance which would help him in his practical life. Another point worth considering that the people who have a competition in life have more success and better performance in life and can catch better opportunity in his practical life.

On the other hand, some might feel that we should do team work instead of in race to other. This is also a debateable statement which would cause a negatve impact on young students because they considered themselves as racer who want to score more than his brother and make a sense of depression and jealousy.

In conclusion, while, the both statements have many benefits but they also have drawsback. In my opinion i will agree to first statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question and state a preference for competition in the conclusion. The first body paragraph gives reasons such as striving for better performance and gaining opportunities, while the second raises possible depression and jealousy among students. However, the discussion is only partial: cooperation is not explained as a positive approach in its own right, and the claim that competition leads to success is asserted rather than supported with a specific example or explanation. Your position is also introduced as something to be explained later, rather than made clear in the opening, and the conclusion does not explain why you favour competition despite its drawbacks. Develop each view with a clear reason and a relevant example, then connect your opinion to that discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs presenting opposing views, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad structure. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: several claims are placed together without explaining how one leads to the next, and the cooperation paragraph focuses mainly on a negative consequence of competition rather than developing the alternative view. Some linking phrases are repetitive or awkward, including “To begin with, first condition” and “This is also a debateable statement.” The opening sentence also repeats “different mindset,” which disrupts flow. Use clearer topic sentences, develop one main idea at a time, and make references between sentences more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “competition,” “performance,” “opportunity,” “depression,” and “jealousy,” so the main ideas can generally be understood. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “race at job,” “in everydays side,” “real joy of life,” and “do team work instead of in race to other.” Spelling errors, including “insitution,” “indiviual,” “competator,” and “negatve,” are noticeable and reduce the clarity and accuracy of the writing. Aim to use the task’s precise term, “competition,” consistently, and learn common combinations such as “work as a team,” “compete with others,” and “improve performance.” Proofreading for spelling and word forms will also help.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentence forms, including the opening sentence beginning “Without any doubt” and the contrast between the two views. However, control is uneven: complex sentences often contain faulty structures, and errors in agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries can make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “it would be tried to work together more” does not form a clear grammatical construction, while “the people who have a competition … have more success” has an awkward subject–verb pattern. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “Therefore,this” and the lower-case “i” in “i mean.” Build accuracy first with clear subject–verb sentences, then combine ideas using reliable clauses such as “because” and “although.” Check articles, plurals, agreement, and punctuation when editing.

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