Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In todays rapidly chaging world competition at work, at school and in daily life has become a widely discussed issue. while some people argue that competition at work, at school and in daily life is good thing, Other belive that we should try to cooperate more,rather than competing against each other. in my opinion that we should not competion at work, at school and in daily life, Mainly because it can have significant effect on mental health and on supportive atmosphere.

To begin with, One of the most compellinh reason to support this view is that if we try copmetion at work, at school and daliy life that some people who week in study that could not achive a higher rank in school then definatly affect on the mental health of the student. When they could not achive numbers to the competitors and they see other briliants studant in highest attention they become feel shame it can lead to go negtivity also can affect mental health, which demonstrates the partical important to the issue so that why we should must cooperative every section like at work, at school, and in daily life.

Furthermore, another significant consideration is working together foster a supportive atmospare, reduce stress and pools divers skills together. team work built strong community bond and prevent the inxiety

In conclusion, although that while a healthy cooperate can be a useful spark, long term success and social harmony fundamentally rely on cooperation

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear preference for cooperation, linking competition to students’ mental health and cooperation to a supportive atmosphere. These are relevant ideas, but the discussion is only partial: the benefits of competition are not explained, and the cooperation paragraph ends before its point is developed. The conclusion briefly acknowledges that healthy competition can be useful, but this view is not supported in the body, so your position is not fully consistent. The response contains 195 words, below the required 250; this limits the space available to address both views and support your opinion. To improve, explain one benefit of competition, develop your reasons for cooperation with a specific example, and make your position consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning with “To begin with” and “Furthermore,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader some guidance, and the main ideas—mental health and a supportive atmosphere—are identifiable. However, progression is limited because the second body paragraph is unfinished, while the first contains several ideas crowded into one long sentence. Linking phrases such as “which demonstrates” do not clearly connect the explanation to the main point, and the conclusion introduces healthy competition without preparing for it. Develop one main point per paragraph, use clear sentence boundaries, and ensure each paragraph leads logically to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “mental health,” “supportive atmosphere,” “team work,” and “social harmony.” These choices show an effort to discuss the issue beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited and repeated wording such as “at work, at school and in daily life” makes the response less flexible. Frequent spelling errors—including “chaging,” “compellinh,” and “atmospare”—and inaccurate or unclear expressions such as “try copmetion” and “pools divers skills” can make meaning difficult to follow. Build a small bank of accurate topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations carefully. For example, use “compete” or “engage in competition” rather than the incorrect form “copmetion.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to use both simple statements and longer clauses, for example, “although that while a healthy cooperate can be a useful spark.” However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and frequent errors affect clarity. The opening has sentence-boundary and capitalisation problems (“while” after a full stop), while “in my opinion that we should not…” lacks a complete grammatical structure. In the first body paragraph, clauses are joined without clear control, and forms such as “team work built” and “we should must” show problems with verb forms and modal verbs. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause. Check articles, agreement, and punctuation when editing.

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