Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

These days, it is commonly seen that debate: some individuals argue that opposition is a good thing at work, schools and in daily life while others refuse it, believing that we should live with coopration, rather than competition with each other. However, I hold the view of cooperation. In this essay, I will elaborate on both sides of arguments and present evidence in support of my view.

To begin with, one of the aspects that people often talk about is indestriousness, people work with more attention. Moreover, they think it is a race and we will win by hardworking. For instance, in schools of many countries student study with focus to leave behind the other students by getting good marks.

In contrast, people think we can get more success by collective efforts. Furthermore cooperation leads to happiness. We can make good relation with others. For instance, in offices we can complete projects efficiently if we will work together as a one team consequently i suppoprt it.

From my perspective, competition is a cause of stress and many other mental health problems like troma, so should try to avoid competition in every feild of life for happiness and progress.

To sum up, both asspects have different benefits, but from my perspective supportive society is benificial for both helth and progress in daily life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides and state a clear preference for cooperation, particularly in “However, I hold the view of cooperation” and the concluding reference to a “supportive society.” The school example also gives some relevant support for the competitive view. However, the discussion is only partial: the benefits of competition are not explained beyond students trying to get good marks, and the cooperation paragraph makes broad claims about success, happiness and relationships without showing how these outcomes arise. Your opinion that competition causes stress is relevant but needs explanation or an example. The response is also 28 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop and support the ideas. Extend each side with specific reasoning and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, your opinion, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “In contrast,” and “To sum up” helps readers follow the overall direction. This coherent arrangement is a strength. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Moreover, they think it is a race and we will win by hardworking” does not clearly connect the point about attention to the idea of winning. The cooperation paragraph also moves quickly from success to happiness and relationships, with little explanation between claims. Develop a clearer sequence within each paragraph, using linking phrases to show cause, contrast or example rather than relying mainly on standard transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “competition,” “collective efforts,” “efficiently,” and “mental health problems.” These choices make the main subject clear, and you attempt to use less common terms such as “industriousness.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled choices make the writing less precise, including “coopration,” “indestriousness,” “trom[a],” and “benificial.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “make good relation” and “work together as a one team.” Aim for accurate topic-specific collocations and check spelling and word forms. More precise language would help distinguish the advantages of healthy competition from its possible negative effects.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “while others…” and a reason introduced by “if.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some sentence structures and grammatical patterns are not controlled consistently. For example, “if we will work together” uses an unsuitable future form after “if,” and “we can make good relation” has problems with number and article use. The opening sentence is also difficult to follow because several ideas are joined in one structure, while “consequently i suppoprt it” lacks clear punctuation and sentence boundaries. Practise forming conditional sentences and checking articles, plurals, agreement and punctuation; clearer, shorter sentences would improve accuracy while you build range.

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