Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, competition among individuals is increasing. Many people believe that competition at work, at school, and in daily life is beneficial, while others believe that individuals should try to cooperate more than compete. This essay will discuss both points of view before explaining my opinion.

First of all, healthy competition is necessary for the betterment of society. Competition helps individuals to work every day and become masters in their fields because humans have the ability to learn from each other. For instance, many inventions and discoveries are the result of positive competition among people. In addition, Technological development is the result of humans' competitive nature. From hunting and gathering to modern societies, humans have evolved; all is the result of a competitive nature.

On the other hand, competition also results in diseases like anxiety, depression, and isolation.

Many youngsters nowadays are suffering from these mental health issues because of negative competition. For example, in Pakistan, parents force their children to secure good marks in academics just to impress their social circle, not for the betterment of their children.

Because of the academic pressure, students often commit sucide. Furthermore, people start comparing themselves with others and loss the piece of their life without knowing the struggles of others.

I believe, that competition has both pros and cons but it depends on the situation. Some time it plays a positive role by motivating people to workhard while it also has negative impacts on humans.

In conclusion, Positive competition Plays a vital role in cognitive development but we can not ignore the impacts of it. A balanced approach is needed.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a position: competition can motivate people, but its effects depend on the situation, and a balance is needed. The examples about inventions and pressure on Pakistani students are relevant. However, the discussion of cooperation is not fully developed: the essay mainly describes the harms of competition rather than explaining how cooperation benefits people or society. Some claims also need clearer explanation, such as linking human evolution to competitive nature. Your opinion is present, but “it depends on the situation” remains broad; specify when competition is useful and when cooperation should take priority. The response meets the stated length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs, a statement of opinion, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “First of all,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. However, the progression within paragraphs is sometimes loose: the points about inventions, technological development, and human evolution overlap without showing how each advances the argument. The second body paragraph shifts from mental-health effects to parental pressure and then comparison, with limited linking between these ideas. Use clearer cause-and-effect connections and refer explicitly to cooperation when contrasting it with competition. This would make the cohesion less dependent on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including phrases such as “healthy competition,” “mental health issues,” “academic pressure,” and “cognitive development.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and you attempt some topic-specific vocabulary. However, several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision: “loss the piece of their life” appears to mean “lose their peace of mind,” and “commit sucide” is misspelled. “Work every day” and “competitive nature” are also repeated or broad where more exact phrasing would help. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling carefully, especially in key examples. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish the benefits of competition from the benefits of cooperation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including subordinate clauses in “because humans have the ability to learn from each other” and “because of the academic pressure.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical and punctuation errors remain. For example, “I believe, that” has an unnecessary comma, and “Some time it plays” needs a more suitable time expression and clearer sentence structure. In “all is the result,” the pronoun does not agree naturally with the plural ideas that precede it. Capitalisation is also inconsistent in “Technological” and “Positive.” Practise checking sentence boundaries, agreement, and punctuation, while varying structures to express cause, contrast, and qualification more accurately.

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