Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

definatly competition is good thing that we can compete with each other in any work to improve ourself and whoes think that competition are crucial and play important role in good results.yes when we start chllanges between office worker,students, and other peoples.

Everyone try hard to beet all and produce good result such competions are very intersting and all participents deeply focus on it.

let suppose, we start challange between students which one get impressive grades leads the class winer apriciated with reward after that other members of challange be ready for next time and prepare himself for future it is very effective for study of childrans and very useful initiative we sould take for better result

secondly,the people believe that rivalry is not a good idea we want try to copperte with ours colleagues,classmates,friend they are also on right point beacause challanges leads the relation to end.its happen when people only focus on their competion they do not care about anyone thefore it not recommended by such belivers

in conculsion, such competion is a good if we start it with their limit but mosly we want to start any type of work without challange.i remember a incidance happen in our friend circle last year when we on trip.on second day of journey when we were on motor way a rilvelry

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both sides of the question: competition is presented as a way to improve performance, while cooperation is linked to maintaining relationships. The example of students competing for grades is relevant, and your conclusion begins to state a balanced view by saying competition is useful “with their limit.” However, the discussion is only partial: the cooperation argument is briefly asserted rather than explained, and your own position is not clearly developed. The final sentence introduces a trip anecdote but stops at “a rivalry,” so it does not provide a complete example or support your conclusion. The response is also 29 words below the required minimum. Develop both views with clear reasons and complete examples, then state your opinion directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: you move from the benefits of competition to concerns about rivalry and then begin a conclusion. Connectors such as “secondly” and “in conclusion” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow, and several ideas run together without clear links. For example, the opening shifts from a general claim to office workers and students, while the final anecdote is left unfinished. Paragraphing is limited, and references such as “they” and “it” are not always clear. Use separate, focused paragraphs for each view and your opinion, and make each example complete. Linking phrases should show the relationship between ideas rather than simply announce a new point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “competition,” “rivalry,” “colleagues,” “impressive grades,” and “reward.” This gives the response enough topic-related language to communicate its main ideas. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “challenge” and “competition.” Frequent spelling errors, such as “definatly,” “beacause,” and “conculsion,” make the writing less clear and reduce the accuracy of your word choices. Some expressions are also unnatural, including “leads the relation to end” and “start it with their limit.” Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing benefits and drawbacks, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express reasons and examples, and there are some longer sentence patterns, such as the explanation beginning “when we start challenges between office worker, students…” However, sentence structures are often incomplete or difficult to control, and errors frequently affect clarity. For instance, “competition are crucial” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “we want try to copperte” is missing a grammatical form after “want.” Articles, plurals, and verb forms are also inconsistent, as in “a good thing” and “other members…be ready.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries need attention: several ideas are joined into long, unclear strings, and the final sentence is unfinished. Practise accurate simple sentences before combining them with subordinate clauses.

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