Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some people think competition at work, at school and daily is good things. In this eassy talking about any company employs or school student compitation work is or not.

On one side arguments we talk about compitation work is good if school students or any company workers. So we discuess now about school students if two students in class so its take goals. Its will achieve good marks. So he work in daily life and every dyas class and every home work makes good. So from my perspective its takes compiation he work daily then every test he achive good marks and ends of the test he also achievs goods marks.

Because overall two students working good in daily basis this all prograss and achieves good mark.

On an other second option if student didn't have any compitation gaols. So its didn't have any goals he didn't take marks. So he don't have any gaol and don't have any compitation in class so he didn't make any record in class.

So now i am talking my relevant class fellow example. When i am studying in university. So now days my CR and GR had a compitation how gets good marks. My class cr and gr taking evry lecture and every assigments work and every presantion attend. Then final paper start so gr and cr very excited because he ready for test and when paper end of the cr and gr paper attend very and waiting for result and very excited cr say i take good marlks and gr say i take good makes. When result cr and gr same marks because cr and gr paper attemp very good and take lecture. Overall saying compitation is good for taking good marks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the topic of competition and give a relevant example from university, describing two classmates who work hard to achieve good marks. However, the response mainly argues that competition benefits students; it does not meaningfully discuss the opposing view that people should cooperate more, and your own position is not clearly balanced or fully explained. The opening says the essay will discuss whether competition is good, but the body does not develop cooperation or compare its benefits with competition. Several points about students’ goals and marks are repeated rather than extended with reasons or consequences. To strengthen the response, explain a specific benefit of cooperation, then state clearly when you think competition or cooperation is preferable and support that view with a developed example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, separate paragraphs and a concluding statement, and phrases such as “On one side” and “So now” signal movement between points. However, the ideas are not arranged in a clear, coherent progression: the second paragraph repeats the claim that competition leads to good marks, while the next paragraph introduces a lack of competition without developing a contrasting view. The long university example is difficult to follow because events and references to “cr” and “gr” are not clearly connected. Linking phrases are often mechanical, and the conclusion repeats the earlier claim rather than bringing the discussion together. Use one paragraph for each view, make the relationship between ideas explicit, and use clear references to people and events.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on “good,” “marks,” “student” and “competition.” There are attempts to use topic-related language, including “goals,” “achieve” and “result,” and the university example gives some relevant context. However, spelling and word-choice errors—such as “compitation,” “eassy,” “prograss” and “marlks”—make parts of the response harder to understand. Some phrases are also unnatural, for example “taking good marks” and “paper attend.” Build a more varied set of accurate expressions for discussing both sides, and check spelling and collocations. For instance, use “achieve high marks” and “sit an exam” rather than the phrases above.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer sentences using “if,” “because” and “when,” but most sentence patterns are simple or incomplete, and frequent grammatical errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Examples include “Some people think … is good things,” “So he work in daily life,” and “When I am studying in university,” where agreement, verb forms and sentence construction are not controlled. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “every home work” and “two students in class.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries need attention, particularly in the extended account of the classmates’ exams. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause; check subject–verb agreement and tense consistency in each sentence.

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