Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. I strongly believe that this situation has greater advantages than disadvantages.

Body Paragraph 1

To commence with, there are several merits of the increasing number of young population. The major one is that the increasing number of innovation because of their new ideas. For example, they can easily express their ideas more clearly and they also find concept which helps us to better. Communication with technology moreover they always contribute to a country economy by working on their profession. For instance, they always spend a large amount of time on their work placement which helps to a country grow more quickly.

Body Paragraph 2

However, there are have some drawbacks of this situation. First, the increasing number of young people requires employment, which is not possible for everyone. In addition, it can reduce the skilled workers, such as older people. For example, young citizens cannot easily understand every situation, they always find rapid solution of any problem or issue rather than long-time solution. However, older people be an important part of a growing country.

Conclusion

In conclusion, although this situation has some demerits, such as employment issue, other issue, the government cannot easily defend these problem. I believe that advantages are outweigh the disadvantages because of the increasing number of innovation, science field and they also contribute to a country growth. Therefore, advantages are far more greater than disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for a discussion on the importance of young people saving money for their future. However, your essay discusses the advantages and disadvantages of having a large population of young adults in a country. Because you have failed to address the specific topic provided, the task achievement score is significantly impacted. While you have presented a clear position regarding the demographic shift, it is irrelevant to the prompt. To improve, you must carefully read the task instructions and ensure your arguments directly relate to the specific question asked, which in this case is about financial literacy and saving habits for the youth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'However', and 'In conclusion'. However, the logical progression is hindered by the fact that the content does not address the prompt. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between ideas is mechanical. For example, the transition in the second body paragraph is abrupt. To improve, focus on ensuring that each paragraph develops a single, clear idea that directly supports your main argument, and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your sentences more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'advantages', 'disadvantages', 'good', and 'important'. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary related to demographics (e.g., 'young adults', 'skilled workers'), there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'increasing number of innovation' instead of 'increasing innovation' or 'increasingly innovative'. There is also a lack of precision in your expression. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary and collocations, and ensure that your word choices are accurate and contextually appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'there are have some drawbacks', 'advantages are outweigh the disadvantages', and 'advantages are far more greater'. These errors in subject-verb agreement and comparative structures are persistent. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of basic grammatical mistakes prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically verb forms and comparative adjectives, before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.