Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

For individuals and society, few things are more crucial than money. In many parts of the world, considerable attention is given to saving money, as it plays an important role in creating better opportunities in the future. Such as a luxurious life and achieving dreams. Many people, including young people, believe they should save money for their future. Nevertheless, I firmly agree with this statement; I will examine the main reasons why people have to save money for the future.

To commence with, money is considered significantly beneficial for people's lives. There is no alternative way to recover from this situation. Moreover, it demonstrates substantial benefits, creating new opportunities like business types and enhancing personal motivation; these might not be available through other sources. For instance, a bachelor who is involved in any job has to deposit some money in a bank so that he can run a business after his job.

In Japan, where employees are not passionate about their jobs, they always focus on their business, which they actually start with the money they deposited. As a result, it plays a pivotal role in their future with a balance. Therefore, everyone has to be patient and struggle to earn more money, and then they can establish themselves in the future.

Furthermore, there are several effective reasons why people should save money, because it must assist them in their retirement years. However, a luxurious life can be achieved by investing money. To illustrate, no one can live without a single dream, so everyone should concentrate on their upcoming dream, what it will be next, and how they will achieve it. This approach can be beneficial in leading a comfortable lifestyle. Consequently, without money, anybody might fall short of their dream. Thus, nothing happens overnight, which is why saving money is imperative for the future.

In a nutshell, although money can affect people's personality, it allows them to connect with a better future and lead a wealthy lifestyle. Ultimately, Money can buy happiness and all the things.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you firmly agree that people, including young people, should save for the future. You give relevant reasons, especially preparing for retirement and using savings to start a business, and the examples help connect the topic to practical outcomes. However, the response only partly develops these points. The Japan example makes a broad claim about employees without explaining how it supports the argument, while the discussion of dreams and a luxurious lifestyle remains general. The opening also includes the fragment “Such as a luxurious life and achieving dreams,” which does not clearly establish a reason. To strengthen the response, explain each main benefit in more detail and relate it directly to young people and their future needs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main ideas are generally grouped by topic. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “For instance,” and “Consequently” help signal relationships between points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the move from business opportunities to Japanese employees and then to patience and struggle is not fully explained. Some transitions are mechanical or do not express the intended relationship, as in “Furthermore … because it must assist them” and “However, a luxurious life can be achieved by investing money.” The conclusion also introduces a broad claim about money buying happiness rather than drawing together the reasons discussed. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and make each paragraph follow one developed line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “substantial benefits,” “personal motivation,” “pivotal role,” and “retirement years.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond basic vocabulary. However, several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, which limits clarity: “business types,” “with a balance,” and “connect with a better future” do not convey your meaning clearly. Some wording is also repetitive, particularly repeated references to money, the future, and a luxurious life. Aim for accurate collocations and more specific terms—for example, describe savings as providing “financial security” or enabling someone to “launch a business.” Avoid using sophisticated-sounding expressions unless they fit the context naturally, and choose vocabulary that makes the intended benefit precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “so that,” “which,” and “although.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but attempts at longer structures are often not controlled consistently. “Such as a luxurious life and achieving dreams” is a sentence fragment, and “everyone should concentrate on their upcoming dream, what it will be next, and how they will achieve it” has an unclear clause structure. There are also problems with sentence boundaries and punctuation, such as the comma splice in “Moreover, it demonstrates substantial benefits, creating new opportunities …; these might not be available through other sources” and the capitalisation of “Money” mid-sentence in the conclusion. Practise building complete sentences with clear clause relationships, and check punctuation and capitalisation during revision.

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